Trinsic Tales:Planescapes/Chapter 07

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter Seven: Phat Lewts

Leticia throws a few warm-up tosses

<Wulfric> "I think you're supposed to use a bow with those arrows..."

<Leticia> "Oh. Right," Leticia sheepishly picks the arrows up.

<Leticia> "It's the World Series. I got carried away."

<Capn_Ascii> ---BEGIN SESSION---

<Capn_Ascii> As we join our heroes, we find them having heroically allowed the villian to escape! ...wait, that's not very heroic at all, is it? Wow, what a letdown.

<Capn_Ascii> You quickly glance around the tower to see if anybody saw you blow it.

Rayn grabs the toolbox Elspeth spotted earlier.

<Wulfric> "Alright. Time for plan B."

<Wulfric> "...uh, what's plan B?"

<Capn_Ascii> Rayn: The box is still open, causing an avalanche of tools to cascade down onto your foot as you try to pick it up.

<Sebydei> "I thought our Plan B was always to set something on fire. Or is that Plan A?"

<Leticia> "That sounds like Plan Always..."

Rayn puts them back in the box and puts the now-closed box into her bag.

<Capn_Ascii> *thunk*

<Capn_Ascii> Wow, that's heavy.

Leticia regroups with everyone else.

Wulfric does too.

Rayn walks the team mascot down the stairs.

<Capn_Ascii> Before long, the five-plus-two of you are standing outside the base of the tower.

<Leticia> "Alright, we should see if we can call that guy on the remote thing... I don't think there's much else in the way of options here."

Elspeth pulls it out and hands it to Leticia.

<Leticia> Leticia blinks, and takes it. "Uh, thanks," she comments, then attempts to start the communications feature of the device. "Leticia to... uh, I forget your name. If you ever told us..."

<Rayn> "tinkerer"

<Leticia> "That's a title, not a name... unless it's both? But, uh, yeah... Leticia to Tinkerer Candy Guy... you there?"

<Capn_Ascii> As you finish speaking, you release the 'press to talk' button. There's a brief burst of static, and then you hear a familiar voice. "Hello? Is that you guys?"

<Sebydei> "As far as I'm aware, yes."

<Leticia> "Yeah. It's us. We uh... lost the guy. He teleported out. Any ideas?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Hmm..."

<Capn_Ascii> "Actually, yeah, I think I can help you. Get back here ASAP and I'll explain."

Leticia raises an eyebrow at that. "Alright, we're on our way. Gray out." Leticia hands the remote back to Elspeth.

Wulfric looks for a good way down

Elspeth tosses itin her bag

Wulfric walks over the bridge and heads in the elevator.

Leticia follows

Sebydei tags along

Rayn flyes off the mountain.

Elspeth follows Rayn and floats down.

<Wulfric> "Let's go back to where we started," Wulfric announces at the elevator operator.

<Capn_Ascii> "Ground floor." The dwarf, bored as ever, punches some buttons and the elevator begins to descend.

Leticia dances to the music

<Capn_Ascii> *ding!*

<Capn_Ascii> The doors open as the car reaches the ground floor.

Leticia leads the way out. Wulfric follows.

Sebydei keeps tagging along

<Leticia> More specifically, she heads towards the Thinker's house. Er, the Tinker's house.

<Capn_Ascii> As you step out of the secret passage, Rayn and Elspeth come floating down, gently alighting on the ground next to you.

<Sebydei> "...show-offs..."

<Elspeth> "Damn straight"

<Wulfric> "...hot show-offs, though."

<Capn_Ascii> You head back out across the plains, and soon find yourselves back at the Tinkerer's house. His door has been put back in place, although there's still a nasty scorch mark around the edges of the door frame.

<Leticia> "We'd better call him... don't want another incident like last time."

Leticia holds out her hand for the remote. "Unless you want to make the call, Elspeth?"

Elspeth pulls out the thing and hands it to her "Yeah, but I think he's expecting us this time."

<Leticia> "Yeah, but not specifically this minute..." Leticia initiates the remote's comm. "Gray to Tinkerer. We're outside your door... I'd rather not touch it after last time."

<Capn_Ascii> "Why not?"

<Capn_Ascii> There's a brief pause.

<Capn_Ascii> "...oh, right. Yeah, come on in."

<Capn_Ascii> There's a buzz and a click, and the door swings open.

<Wulfric> "...at least it didn't explode. This time."

Leticia walks on in

Wulfric follows

Sebydei tags along

Rayn follows

Elspeth follows

<Capn_Ascii> As you stride into the back area of the house and into the workshop, you see quite the spectacle before you. In the time you've been gone, the Tinkerer has constructed a massive, monolithic machine - a vast array of dials, buttons, switches, levers, indicators, monitors, and all sorts of other cool-looking techy stuff.

<Leticia> "...Cool."

<Sebydei> "How'd you get all the parts this quickly?"

<Sebydei> "And assemble them, for that matter..."

<Capn_Ascii> He tries to avoid making eye contact. "I have...sources."

<Leticia> "Right, no questions. Got it. ...well, not that kind of question, anyway. So, what did you want to tell us?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Alright, here's the deal." He holds up the blueprints he was working from. "These schematics give the operating frequency of this other guy's original portal device. Using that info, I've adjusted *this* copy of the machinery to be able to track that frequency."

<Capn_Ascii> He points to what looks like a large TV antenna in one corner. "Every time he opens a portal, the equipment here will know where he's going."

<Leticia> "...awesome."

<Leticia> "So, where IS he going?"

<Capn_Ascii> "You can then use your own remote to activate the portal machine here and follow him. I can't guarantee you'll be able to land right on the dot wherever he is, though."

<Capn_Ascii> "Going?"

<Capn_Ascii> He shrugs. "He hasn't gone anywhere, yet. He must still be here somewhere."

<Leticia> "Right, you mentioned the uncertainty principle... and I was hoping we could get some kind of... oh. Interesting."

<Capn_Ascii> "Probably won't be long, though. If you raided his base here, he'll probably be preparing to retreat to another base elsewhere."

<Leticia> "So should we wait for him to switch to another plane, or...?"

<Capn_Ascii> "That would be the best move, I think. You might want to stock up on supplies before you go."

Leticia nods and looks at the rest of the group. "Any supplies we might need? Given our gold supply, that is."

<Sebydei> "A spell focus or two might come in handy..."

<Capn_Ascii> "I'd take some fresh food and water with you. Never know when you'll end up on a plane that's *not* made of candy."

<Wulfric> "Right. I guess we'd best get back to town, then."

<Leticia> "...aren't there plenty of... foods... in the immediate vicinity?"

<Wulfric> "...oh yeah. Uh, mind if we take some?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Huh?" He blinks. "...well, yeah, I *guess*, but unless you want to contract diabetes, you might want some normal human food."

<Sebydei> "They might not keep too long, either."

<Leticia> "Is that even sold here, though, come to think of it?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Feh, they'll keep fine. These doughnutoliths have been here for centuries."

<Sebydei> "What, and they're still edible?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Sure, Ms. Butterscotch sells it at the general store. What do you think your human friends there have been eating this whole time until you three showed up?"

Elspeth licks her fingers. "Apparently."

<Capn_Ascii> "Yeah. I mean, the candy just sort of...*grows* here. Like plants. Some weird-ass aspect of this dimension, I guess."

<Wulfric> "Yeah... alright, let's go into town and buy some real food... but we'll grab some of this stuff too."

<Capn_Ascii> "Never cared for it, myself. Sure, it's fun when you first get here, but after the first half-dozen cavities you kind of get sick of all the sugar. God, I'd kill for some fried chicken."

<Capn_Ascii> Time passes, as The Party returns to town to gather provisions and other necessary items.

<Capn_Ascii> After a while, you return. Things are just the same as you left them, except Tinker is sitting at his little graham cracker dining table eating fried chicken.

<Capn_Ascii> "I hope you guys don't mind, but I nipped over to another dimension with the machine and scored some dinner. I was craving something fierce."

Leticia buys stuff, grimaces, and puts her hammer on her belt, not having room in the 'sack.

<Capn_Ascii> "I hope you guys don't mind, but I nipped over to another dimension with the machine and scored some dinner. I was craving something fierce."

Leticia buys stuff, grimaces, and puts her hammer on her belt, not having room in the 'sack.

<Capn_Ascii> Tinker offers you some fried chicken. "Want some?"

Leticia shrugs. "Why not?" She grabs a piece.

Wulfric takes one too. "Thanks."

<Sebydei> "Nah, I'm good."

Rayn nods. "Thank you."

<Elspeth> "Yay! something not candy!"

<Capn_Ascii> "Yeah, it's great stuff. I used to eat it all the time before..." He trails off. "...well, never mind tha--"

<Capn_Ascii> *WHOOP!*

<Capn_Ascii> *WHOOP!*

<Capn_Ascii> *WHOOP!*

<Capn_Ascii> Red lights flash as a painfully loud klaxon blares.

<Capn_Ascii> "GAH! The alarm!"

<Leticia> "Alarm? What about?"

<Sebydei> "Was it necessary to make it so loud?"

<Capn_Ascii> "No, of course not." He turns a small dial on the nearby wall.

<Capn_Ascii> *whoop*

<Capn_Ascii> *whoop*

<Capn_Ascii> *whoop*

<Capn_Ascii> "I rigged an alarm to the detection antenna. Your wizard friend just made a portal jump."

<Leticia> "Ah. Do we know where to?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Of course I do. That's what the system is for. Follow me." He leads the way back into the workshop.

Leticia follows

Sebydei tags along

<Capn_Ascii> A dot-matrix printer is churning away in one corner; he rips off the printout and reads it over. Then, he grins. "Ooh. Ooh hoh hoh."

<Leticia> "This is either very good... or very bad... alright, let's hear it."

<Capn_Ascii> He looks up at you. "Alright, I know where he's gone. Hang on, and I'll calibrate the portal remote to take you there. You'll want to go outside to open the portal. In fact, make that a general rule - portals tend to wreck anything too close to them."

<Leticia> "...you aren't going to tell us where before we get there?"

<Leticia> "But, uh, noted."

<Capn_Ascii> "Heh heh. I'd rather it be a surprise. Trust me, you'll love it. Although..."

<Wulfric> Wulfric glares at Tinkerer. "Suprises are bad."

<Capn_Ascii> He fishes around in a cabinet, then hands you a deflated air mattress. "Blow this up and toss it through the portal before you jump in. It's going to be a rough landing otherwise."

<Capn_Ascii> He starts pushing buttons and turning dials on The Machine.

<Leticia> Leticia blinks. "...Oh great."

Leticia grabs the matress. "This is going to suck."

Rayn spends a minute refreshing her invocations.

<Sebydei> "We're in for a lot of 'fun', aren't we?"

<Leticia> "Sounds like it."

<Capn_Ascii> "Alright, it's ready. Just go outside and press the GREEN BUTTON. I repeat: The GREEN BUTTON. And press the black button to talk to me, although you probably already figured that out."

<Capn_Ascii> "Whatever you do, do NOT press the red button! It's under that safety cover for a reason."

<Leticia> "...You know, we should probably know what that does..."

<Leticia> "But yeah, the green button, got it."

<Sebydei> "If the red button only does bad things, why even install it?

Leticia heads out a ways from the house and prepares to press.

<Capn_Ascii> "Because there's a time to use it. Just not now."

<Capn_Ascii> 'If I told you what it does, you might be tempted to use it."

<Capn_Ascii> "Alright, off with you." He waves you outside.

<Leticia> "...Thanks for your confidence in my self-control!"

<Leticia> Once everyone's safely outside, Leticia presses the GREEN button.

<Capn_Ascii> *deet*

<Capn_Ascii> Silence. Then, a low rumbling, followed by the crackling of electricity as bolts of energy coalesce together into a point of infinite mass and density right in front of you.

<Capn_Ascii> The point explodes, blossoming forth into a swirling portal opening, not unlike the one you first fell through back in the wizard's lab.

Leticia looks at it, seeing if she can see the other side.

<Capn_Ascii> Nope - just a glimpse of the swirling, special-effect-filled Void between worlds.

<Capn_Ascii> The wormhole sits there, swirling. Well?

<Leticia> "Alright, I want everyone to follow me IMMEDIATELY," Leticia commands, holding out the air mattress. "Otherwise you might miss the mattress." Leticia inflates the mattress then goes through, holding onto the mattress with both hands.

Sebydei quickly tags along

Rayn dives

Elspeth follows

Wulfric goes in last

<Capn_Ascii> Everybody piles onto the air mattress and jumps through the portal. Almost immediately you find yourselves tumbling through the infinite reaches of time and space...well, space mostly.

<Capn_Ascii> You do manage to travel about 15 seconds into the future before the ride comes to a sudden stop. You and your improvised raft are forcefully spit out of the far end of the portal.

<Capn_Ascii> As you all tumble ass over teakettle, you struggle to regain control of your sort-of vehicle. With a last-second twist, you right yourselves, allowing the raft to hit the ground first. You bounce a bit, but otherwise come to a relatively soft landing.

Leticia looks around

<Capn_Ascii> Leticia: You can't see much - it's dim in here, although not pitch black (thankfully). You can make out a solid floor beneath you and the vague suggestions of walls nearby.

Rayn looks around as well.

Wulfric looks

<Capn_Ascii> Rayn, Wulfric: You can see walls, a floor, and what looks like a door that's made of a single stone slab. At least, it *looks* like stone, or possibly some sort of metal. you can see that it has a vaguely yellowish tint; perhaps sandstone? It's hard to tell in the dim light either way.

<Wulfric> "...Uh-oh. I think we're trapped in some kind of room."

Wulfric points. "There's a door there. I think it's sandstone or something... Shall we try it?"

<Sebydei> "Uhh...I'd like to be able to see things, too. Lemme get my torch..." Sebydei retrieves his Everburning Torch

<Capn_Ascii> Seb: You hold your torch aloft, the light dancing across the surfaces of the room around you. But not just shining...*reflecting*.

<Capn_Ascii> The walls, floor, and even ceiling are bright and shiny, like polished metal or glass...they glimmer with a metallic sheen in the flickering light. A bright, golden metallic sheen.

<Leticia> "...so we're in a room of gold? Cool."

<Wulfric> "Meh, it's probably all pyrite."

Wulfric makes his way to the door, to see if it can be opened.

<Capn_Ascii> Wulfric: The door has no obvious means of opening, but then again, it doesn't really seem to be *closed*, either. It looks like someone just propped a big stone slab across the doorway from the other side.

<Capn_Ascii> You could probably push it over.

<Capn_Ascii> You could probably push it over, with a little elbow grease. And maybe some literal grease if it sticks.

<Wulfric> "Anyone up for Push That Slab?" Wulfric asks. "This looks like a team job."

<Leticia> Leticia shrugs. "Sure, why not?"

Wulfric nods and walks up to the door, preparing to push

Leticia also gets in position. "Anyone else going to help?"

Wulfric switches Auras to Motivate Strength

Sebydei puts his torch down nearby and gets ready to move heavy stuff

<Wulfric> "HEAVE!"

<Wulfric> "..er, PUSH!"

Leticia gives a lazy shove

Wulfric gives a SUPER SHOVE!

<Capn_Ascii> The five of you line up and push on the slab with alll the force of a frustrated Link shoving blocks around for one of those stupid puzzles. It seems *incredibly* heavy, but you do manage to move it. Eventually.

<Capn_Ascii> It tips over and falls to the ground with a thunderous *CRASH!*. Whoops. Hope stealth wasn't a factor here.

<Capn_Ascii> As the sound echos away and the dust settles, the light from the torch reflects off of the contents of the cavernous room you've broken into. It's massive - at least as big as a football field, and tall enough to fit a small building inside.

<Leticia> "Fascinating," Leticia announces in her best Spock voice.

<Capn_Ascii> But it's the contents that make your eyes nearly bug out of their sockets:

<Capn_Ascii> TREASURE. Piles upon mounds upon heaps upon *mountains* of TREASURE. Coins, gold bars, gemstones and jewels...all piled into a massive sea of shining beauty that fills nearly the entire floor of the chamber. A few odd treasure chests and bejewed weapons are studded into the piles for ambience.

<Leticia> "Yes, most fascinating indeed."

<Sebydei> "A little."

<Wulfric> "It's probably all fake. Come on, no one stashes this much wealth in one spot."

<Capn_Ascii> There are doors in every wall, and through them you can see further glints of even more treasure. Indeed, now that you can see clearly, you realize that the very walls, floors, and ceilings are made of solid gold bricks.

<Capn_Ascii> No wonder it's so dim in here - if there were any sunlight you'd all be blind by now.

<Wulfric> "I wouldn't trust anything here."

Leticia frowns. "Yeah... this is worth it..." Leticia pulls out her Detect Magic wand and gives it a quick wave.

<Capn_Ascii> Leticia: You wave the wand. Magic auras light up all over the place - but mostly centered on the scattered weapons and treasure chests. The gold itself, as well as the walls and such, are 100% normal.

<Leticia> "That's what you'd expect in a legitimate treasure trove... but this still smells, I agree, Wulfric" Leticia ponders.

Leticia hands the remote back to Elspeth.

<Capn_Ascii> The remote suddenly squawks as it changes hands. "...ello? Hello? You guys hear me?"

Leticia pulls it back. "Gray here. Go ahead."

<Capn_Ascii> "Okay, good, at least one of you survived the landing. Everyone okay?"

<Leticia> "Yeah, everyone's alright. We're in a suspicious-looking room set full of what appears to be massive amounts of treasure. I'm amount to test the legitimacy of the gold by attempting to take a hammer to it."

<Capn_Ascii> "Alright, go ahead."

<Leticia> Leticia kneels down and *POUNDS* her hammer on the "gold" surface, then examines to see if a mark was made.

<Leticia> (er, floor, that is)

<Capn_Ascii> *tink!*

<Capn_Ascii> You lift up the hammer, to see a hammerhead-shaped imprint in the floor beneath it.

<Capn_Ascii> "Well? Did it work?"

<Leticia> "Yeah. This is showing as real gold."

<Leticia> "Or, at least, some material with a hardness substantially less than 4, which I'm not aware of anything other than gold with this color and shine."

<Capn_Ascii> "Okay then, you made it. I was worried you might have gotten shunted, but it sounds like you're in the right place."

<Leticia> "So what can you tell us about this place?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Heh heh. Welcome to the Elemental Plane of Loot, fellas. This is the place where the material essence of everything valuable originates from before effusing into the Prime Material Plane."

<Leticia> "Alright, so... most of the... rooms, look more or less the same. Any ideas on how to find MalWaa're?"

<Sebydei> "Sounds like my kind of plane..."

<Capn_Ascii> "Well, there's a map of the place I have here, plus the areas are themed. Sounds like you're in the area for material wealth.

<Leticia> "What else is there, for 'loot'?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Well, IIRC, to the west is the 'priceless everyday treasures' wing - a tender kiss from your lover, the sound of children's laughter, that sort of thing. And then to the southeast there's the smug satisfaction you get from one-upping someone."

<Capn_Ascii> "Lots of different types of treasure in there, if you know where to look. What would your guy be after?"

<Leticia> "Well... we just stole an amulet of what amounts to immortality from him... so I'm guessing he might want to be replacing it..."

<Sebydei> "Or we could go to the southeast."

<Leticia> "Or finding some way to get it back, I suppose."

<Capn_Ascii> "In that case, you'd want the Chambers of Health and Well-Being. Try the north-east. Although..."

<Capn_Ascii> "...I have to admit, that might be hard without a compass."

<Leticia> "Compass?"

<Leticia> "...yeah, that might have... been useful."

<Capn_Ascii> "Sorry, my bad. I'll see if I can dig one up for you. In the meantime, why not have a look around?"

<Leticia> "Will there be negative consequences if we were to start removing massive wealth from this place?"

<Sebydei> "More like, will there be any negative consequences that we couldn't handle if we did that?"

<Capn_Ascii> "That depends. Like I said, that whole dimension is the source of the essence of value back home. Taking a little is okay, but if you go trying to take whole truckfulls out of there, you could disrupt the flow of that essence. The Powers That Be won't like that."

<Capn_Ascii> "Last time I was there, there were these...golem-like things. They showed up if you got too greedy."

<Leticia> "Okay, I just realized that I know exactly where north is, I'm smart, and uh... define 'too greedy'."

<Sebydei> "So...we have to take a small enough amount to not disrupt any economies...are any of you guys an accountant?"

<Leticia> "Uh... not per se, but I do know planar mechanics..."

Leticia scratches that

<Wulfric> "Uh... not per se, but I do know planar mechanics..."

<Capn_Ascii> "Sorry, but it's not my call. Those things are watching, and if they think you're crossing the line...*pow*. Last time I was there, one of them smashed my adventuring partner into a greasy smear on the wall."

<Leticia> "Well at this point, I'm inclined to be safe and not take anything unless Wulfric has a safety margin that he's willing to commit to."

<Capn_Ascii> (Note to future Ascii: Check result 34. Write up response.)

<Capn_Ascii> ---END SESSION---


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