Trinsic Tales:Afterlife in the Fast Lane/Chapter 19

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter Nineteen: Guards! Guards!

(09:59:59) <@Capn_Ascii> As we join our heroes, we find them (or one of them, at least) charging headlong through a magical mirror portal and into the back of an orc army patrol with relatively little knowledge of the situation and without assistance. But, hey, that's just how Dkort rolls, baby.

(10:00:11) <Eralia> "Go go go Dkort!"

(10:00:40) * Dkort goes, but only once

(10:00:53) * Rika continues searching.

(10:08:26) <@Capn_Ascii> The sound of an airhorn is heard as Dkort rockets out of the unseen (at least to the orcs) portal. Angling his shield like a cow-catcher, he slams into one of the orcs, violently plowing it aside.

(10:11:35) <@Capn_Ascii> "GYAAARGH!"

(10:12:18) <@Capn_Ascii> The second orc turns and stares as he sees Dkort flying past in slow motion, a look of bloodlust on his face. Dkort slowly turns his head and grins evilly at the orc before flying past and landing on his feet, next to the downed first orc.

(10:17:55) <Dkort> "Off your feet with one hit? I technically don't even have a weapon!"

(10:18:35) <@Capn_Ascii> The orc grunts something half-sensible through a faceful of pavement. "Dmkly."

(10:23:43) <@Capn_Ascii> The second orc draws his weapons and turns to face the enemy, even as Dkort brandishes his weapon and assumes a battle posture. Neither of them moves to attack, however...instead, they eye each other warily, sizing up their respective opponents like a slip from DBZ.

(10:26:28) * Dkort blinks, and then lunges forward and swings his shield edge first

(10:33:04) <@Capn_Ascii> The orc is too busy grunting and gathering his ki energy to notice you shielding him upside the head. He staggers. "OW! My beautiful face!" He growls, and hauls back to clobber you with his big ol' mace.

(10:38:47) <@Capn_Ascii> *wham!* The mace-head crashes down on your head, ringing your helmet like a church bell.

(10:48:40) * Dkort covers his years and groans. Then he puts his shield over his helmet and lunges head-first

(10:50:29) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort takes a page from the Turtle Tamer book and does a combination head/shieldbutt. The orc's head snaps back like a tetherball, leaving him reeling.

(10:51:36) <@Capn_Ascii> As Dkort presses the attack, the second orc, finally recovering from his enforced gravel nap, climbs dizzily to his feet. He starts fumbling for his weapon.

(10:54:54) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort: Orc #1 holds his forehead with one hand, while wildly swinging his mace at you with the other.

(10:55:25) * Eralia contemplates dropping a Fireball into the melee

(10:56:54) * Eralia nods, and prepares to step through, fingering her necklace

(10:58:22) * Eralia leaps through, yells "Get out of the way, Dkort!", and pulls off a Fireball from her necklace.

(10:59:46) * Dkort jumps away with his shield facing the presumed target

(11:01:03) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort: Unfortunately, this distraction gives the orc swinging at you a clear shot at your head. He swings...and misses! ...but then comes back with a backswing that catches you square in the side. The mace's spines dig into your flesh...ow.

(11:01:55) <Eralia> "Ouch," Eralia winces. "Uh... still, you want to get not between me and these two fools."

(11:05:37) <Eralia> "Oh screw it," Eralia calls, trotting back as fast as she can, then letting the flaming ball of death FLY!

(11:11:05) <@Capn_Ascii> Eralia: You backpedal as quickly as you can, before hauling back your arm and letting the Pellet O' Flaming DOOM fly. It skips to a stop at Dkort's feet...he and the two orcs have just enough time to look down at it, look up, look at each other, then look at the camera with an "Oh, shi--" expression before it explodes violently.

(11:22:57) <@Capn_Ascii> As the bead explodes and flames billow outward, Dkort twists and backs away, although not quickly enough to escape minor burnination. The two orcs, on the other hand, are consumed by flame. "AAAAAH!" "OH GOD, IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS!"

(11:24:16) <Eralia> "Get 'em, Dkort! We got 'em where we want 'em!"

(11:31:10) <@Capn_Ascii> The second orc runs around in a panic for a few moments, before suddenly recalling his drill instructor's words on what to do in case of fire. "Hack, slash, and roll!" The orc hauls back his greataxe and goes into an odd little spinning move that both strikes at Dkort and ends up with the orc rolling like a log across the ground afterwards, putting out the fire.

(11:36:15) * Dkort clutches his side with his non-shield hand. "Ow, ow! I think that's a mockery of the proper protocol!"

(11:37:08) * Dkort steps towards the standing crispy orc and tries to beat out the flames with his shield

(11:41:12) <@Capn_Ascii> The orc screams with two different flavors of pain as you beat him while he's on fire. "AAAAAAaaaaaa....." He eventually falls to the ground and stops moving, blood leaking profusely from his smashed-in head even as his body continues to smolder.

(11:45:59) * Eralia pulls out her flaming swords and charges in at the remaining orc

(11:53:01) <Cap_Ascii> Eralia gets a wicked grin on her face as she charges in and slices up the orc as if she were carving a roast. "OUCH! OW! ARGH! OH GOD! YEOW! EGADS!"

(12:00:27) <Cap_Ascii> Eralia: The orc, now missing several patches of skin, takes a swing at you with his greataxe. However, you nimbly avoid the brunt of the attack, leaving him to clip the back of your calf for minor damage.

(12:01:37) * Dkort walks up to the last orc and tenderizes the roast

(12:03:50) <Cap_Ascii> Dkort, who really seems to be enjoying his shield bash feats today, smacks the orc around. He's now burned, bleeding, AND bruised, but still standing.

(12:04:12) * Eralia narrows her eyes and goes into all-out attack mode

(12:05:51) <Eralia> "TIME TO MAKE ORC MEAT!"

(12:07:02) <Dkort> "Hey, I'm half orc..."

(12:07:37) <Eralia> "Nothing personal. If we were attacking elves I would've said elf meat, and I'm half-elf."

(12:18:55) <Capn_Ascii> Eralia grinds her swords together like a knife and fork, then sets about carving up the Orc roast for Christmas. She finishes, and steps away...a beat passes, then the orc falls apart into a pile of neatly-cut sliced of lunceon meat thickness.

(12:19:16) <Capn_Ascii> Lightly toasted slices.

(12:21:10) <Capn_Ascii> The enemy dispatched, Eralia and Dkort holster their weapons, as a short victory fanfare plays.

(12:23:19) * Eralia nods with satisfaction. "Dkort, if you would return to guard the mirrors, I'll go help Rika."

(12:23:52) <Capn_Ascii> Suddenly...

(12:24:23) <Capn_Ascii> "Eureka!" Rika's triumphant voice rings out from the upstairs room. It sounds like she's found something important!

(12:24:48) * Eralia starts walking up there. "Coming, Rika!"

(12:25:54) <Capn_Ascii> ---END SESSION---