Trinsic Tales:Afterlife in the Fast Lane/Chapter 11

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter Eleven: My Golem n' Me

(07:05:20) <@Capn_Ascii> "As we join our heroes, we find them on the verge of finally un-undead-ifying themselves! The MacGuffin diamonds are ready, the stage is set...now it's all up to Dkort to make some magic. However, a lot can happen in ten minutes..."

(07:10:47) * Dkort continues his dramatic pose and mutters words of power to himself

(07:11:25) <@Capn_Ascii> "Ohm...ohm..."

(07:13:45) <@Capn_Ascii> Magical mystery energies begin to billow from Dkort's body like a Saiyan warrior, as he charges up to deliver his un-finishing move. The huge-ass diamond (which, by sheer coincidence, happens to be named the Hugh Jazz Diamond) in his hand starts to glow a faint white color.

(07:15:43) <@Capn_Ascii> Eralia, meanwhile, keeps a sharp eye out for intruders.

(07:16:25) <@Capn_Ascii> Rika scoops up the solitaire deck from last week's diamond joke and starts dealing herself a starting hand.

(07:20:14) <@Capn_Ascii> Eralia: Nope, no intruders here. Just rows and rows of shelves and mining equipment to hide behind.

(07:21:46) * Eralia sighs. "I don't see anyone, but I don't trust my sight. Little help, Rika?"

(07:24:26) * Rika looks up from her game of solitaire and looks around.

(07:36:27) <@Capn_Ascii> Rika: You're not quite sure, but you could swear you saw a glimpse of a shadow moving behind a shelf a rew rows down...

(07:38:31) * Rika points with the hand not holding cards towards the source of movement. "There!" she ways quietly.

(07:39:02) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort continues chanting. "OM nom nom nom OM nom nom nom OM nom nom nom..."

(07:40:19) * Eralia stares hard but decides there's no point in doing anything aggressive unless it comes out. She does, however, pull out her swords

(07:49:57) <@Capn_Ascii> As Dkort continues the spell, he starts to hear something - a slight scuffling, not too far off. Rika hears it too...it's getting closer. Clooooooser...

(07:50:28) <@Capn_Ascii> Farther awaaaaay...oops, no wait, clooooser...

(07:51:31) * Eralia prepares herself...

(07:52:43) * Dkort glances towards the direction of the noise while continuing the spell

(08:01:36) <@Capn_Ascii> As the noise gets closer, the soft scuffling sounds begin to change into more of a dull scratching sound. After a few more moments, the dull scratching becomes more of a loud scraping.

(08:02:30) <@Capn_Ascii> After a few *more* moments, the loud scraping becomes more of an eardrum-piercing rusty-metal-anchor-being-raked-across-sheet-metal sound.

(08:02:56) <@Capn_Ascii> *CLANG!* *skreeeeeeek!* *CLANG!* *skreeeeeeek!*

(08:06:16) <@Capn_Ascii> Finally, the source of the noise reveals itself - a huge, strange-looking creature lumbers around the nearest shelf and out into the open. It looks vaguely like a heavily-armored knight, or perhaps an ambulatory furnace - 12-odd feet tall, glowing orange eyes peering out through a narrow visor, the only opening in the creature's metal armor (skin?).

(08:08:14) <@Capn_Ascii> It has thick, powerful arms, large, hero-crushing hands, and short, stumpy legs. This, presumably, is the reason for the creature's odd gait; it lumbers toward you as if it can barely bend its knees, dragging each foot across the floor with every step. It glares at you.

(08:08:29) <Eralia> "Can we help you?"

(08:11:03) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem stares at Eralia. "SILENT ALARM HAS BEEN TRIGGERED. YOU ARE TRESSPASSING." It points at the gem in Dkort's hand. "YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO BURGLARIZE COMPANY PROPERTY."

(08:14:57) * Rika mutters "Give us ten minutes and you won't even have proof it existed."

(08:15:01) (Heaven Script Nick Identifier)(Capn_Ascii just said your name on DarkMyst in #sq <Capn_Ascii> Rika: I thought the basic premise was interesting - as far as I can tell, the episodes are designed to slot into the original series as depictions of stuff that happened off-screen in the original.)

(08:16:29) <@Capn_Ascii> The...thing, cocks it's...head? "YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO *DESTROY* COMPANY PROPERTY?"

(08:16:44) <Rika> "Not at all."

(08:20:24) <@Capn_Ascii> "YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO BE HERE. RELINQUISH THE COMPANY PROPERTY AND SURRENDER."

(08:25:24) * Eralia hisses to Rika "We might be able to alter its programming to stop it."

(08:36:39) <@Capn_Ascii> Rika: You open your mouth to reply, when suddenly, you see it - there, stamped on the side of the golem's buttplate, is a tiny manufacturing stamp. Squinting, you can just make out the model number - 1138-DB! You suddenly realize why the creature looks so familiar - it's basically the big brother to the 1138-A, a smaller security construct used as home security by rish folks.

(08:36:49) <@Capn_Ascii> *rich

(08:38:35) <@Capn_Ascii> You read extensively about the 1138-A back in your Proactive Wealth Redistribution 301 correspondence course. That model was programmed to respond to voice commands prefixed with the golem's serial number, usually printed under the left arm.

(08:46:43) <Rika> "What company property?"

(08:49:05) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem points with its left arm at Dkort's hand again. "THAT. YOU HAVE VANDALIZED DRILLING EQUIPMENT AND STOLEN COMPANY PROPERTY. SURRENDER OR BE HORRIBLY MAIMED."

(08:49:43) <@Capn_Ascii> It's pointing hand suddenly seems to morph, like liquid metal - it turns into a large, nasty-looking drill, which begins to spin up to speed.

(08:49:53) * Rika looks under it's arm for a number

(08:50:29) * Dkort edges away from the security golem

(08:52:58) <@Capn_Ascii> Rika: Yep, there it is, right where you remembered: "382436"

(08:53:36) <Rika> "382436, Stop."

(08:54:49) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem's drill slows down, then stops.

(08:55:59) <Rika> "382436, you no longer work for this complany, you work for me. Confirm command."

(08:57:16) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem's glowing orange eyes blink once, twice...then fade into a neutral grey color. "AFFIRMATIVE."

(08:59:38) * Rika Breaths a sigh of relief.

(08:59:42) <Rika> "Okay, so now what?"

(09:00:14) <@Capn_Ascii> "I DO NOT KNOW."

(09:00:33) <Eralia> "Now, we let Dkort finish in peace, then one of us gets revived."

(09:00:42) <Eralia> "Then we go find the last diamond we need."

(09:01:19) <Rika> "382438, Stand guard please. Let us know if you hear someone or something approach."

(09:02:16) <@Capn_Ascii> "AFFIRMATIVE." The golem takes up a standing position next to Dkort, looking back and forth with one finger held up to it's unseen ear, like a Secret Service agent.

(09:02:55) * Dkort continues the casting while keeping his eyes on the golem

(09:05:44) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort: You continue chanting...geez, this has to be the longest 10 minutes of your afterlife. Before long, you begin reaching the end of the spell...as you do, you can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

(09:07:53) <@Capn_Ascii> Literally, in fact. As you finish chanting the last few syllables, you can see an actual dark tunnel in front of your eyes, with a bright light rapidly approaching. It seems to zoom right into your corneas, blinding you, as a thunderous blast echos through your ears!

(09:09:23) <@Capn_Ascii> Then the SFX department runs out of budget, and the colors and sounds end. You're left standing where you were.

(09:11:51) <@Capn_Ascii> The diamond is gone, however. Oh, and you also have a strange, unzombielike pink discoloration to your skin.

(09:12:48) <Eralia> "Nice job."

(09:13:12) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort: You feel something squirming around in your chest! ...oh, wait, that's just your heart.

(09:13:26) <Eralia> "I could see the benefits to either of us getting revived next. Certainly I can defend myself better in case of attack. But she can avoid getting spotted in the first place better.

(09:13:29) <Eralia> "Your call."

(09:14:53) * Dkort takes a deep breath with his now-functional lungs.

(09:16:39) <Dkort> "I guess I could flip a coin."

(09:17:03) <@Capn_Ascii> "I POSSESS A SOPHISTICATED RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR."

(09:17:32) <Eralia> "Shut up, bot. No, just let her go. You need me more, and I'm more useful this way."

(09:17:43) <Eralia> "I don't like it, but I am more useful this way."

(09:17:45) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem opens up its hand; it looks like it's holding a small D20.

(09:23:56) <Dkort> "I think I've still got enough left in me to revive Rika next."

(09:27:03) * Dkort clears his throat and begins chanting again

(09:28:36) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort sighs, spritzes his mouth with some throat spray, clears his throat, clasps his hands, and starts chanting again. "Mekka lekka hi, mekka hiney ho..."

(09:31:41) <@Capn_Ascii> "TEN MINUTES LATER..."

(09:32:02) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem says this aloud, without provocation.

(09:32:50) <@Capn_Ascii> ---TEN MINUTES LATER---

(09:34:12) <@Capn_Ascii> Dkort, who by this point is on the verge of going hoarse, gasps out the last few syllables. "...and a partridge in a pear tree!" There's a flash of light, a thunderous boom, and suddenly Rika's two halves are whole and fleshy-pink again.

(09:35:15) <Dkort> "Okay, now I'm spent..."

(09:35:34) <Eralia> "Alright, well, now we go get ourselves the last diamond."

(09:38:13) <Eralia> "What was that address again?"

(09:39:21) * Rika rips off the duct tape under her clothes. "I'm going to be sticky forever from all of this."

(09:43:49) <Rika> "382438, do you have a stealth mode?"

(09:45:24) <@Capn_Ascii> "AFFIRMATIVE."

(09:46:19) <Dkort> "Will you still shout everything in stealth mode?"

(09:46:27) <Rika> "Can you describe what happens in your stealth mode?"

(09:47:17) <@Capn_Ascii> "I AM NOT SHOUTING. I AM SPEAKING IN AN APPROPRIATELY-VOLUMED ROBOTIC MONOTONE."

(09:48:05) <@Capn_Ascii> "AFFIRMATIVE. DEMONSTRATING STEALTH MODE."

(09:48:36) <@Capn_Ascii> The golem raises both its arms overhead, and begins to glow with a brilliant orange light.

(09:49:05) <Eralia> "Um. Wow."

(09:49:21) <@Capn_Ascii> After a few moments, the light fades...and the golem is gone!

(09:49:31) * Rika stares.

(09:49:36) <@Capn_Ascii> ...no, wait, there he is. He's right there on the floor - six inches high.

(09:50:20) * Rika stares some more "D'aww.."

(09:50:28) * Rika picks him up.

(09:50:32) <@Capn_Ascii> "STEALTH MODE ACTIVATED." The golem's voice is exactly as loud as it was before.

(09:50:45) <Eralia> "Nice. Let's go find us another diamond. ...ugh. Do you have a QUIET MODE?"

(09:51:30) <+Rika> "Guess I can't ride him down the street like this...."

(09:52:50) <@Capn_Ascii> "NEGATIVE. SHALL I MAINTAIN VOCAL SILENCE?"

(09:53:11) <Rika> "Please do."

(09:53:21) <Rika> "Unless we're somewhere private like this."

(09:55:22) <@Capn_Ascii> "AFFIRMATIVE."

(09:59:35) <Eralia> "So, can we move on now?"

(10:03:01) <Rika> "Yeah. Uhm.. would you be okay in my ppcket, 382438?"

(10:04:08) <@Capn_Ascii> "AFFIRMATIVE. YOUR CLOTHING-BASED STORAGE RECEPTACLE APPEARS BOTH STURDY AND SNUGGLY."

(10:04:25) <@Capn_Ascii> "MAINTAINING VOCAL SILENCE."

(10:04:35) <Eralia> "Okay, let's go already."

(10:05:10) <Dkort> "Where else could there be more diamonds?"

(10:05:53) <Eralia> "There was one other mentioned at that jewlery shop. From some rich lady."

(10:09:37) * Rika carefully pockets the miniturized robot.

(10:10:33) * Eralia heads off to find the rich lady.

(10:15:06) <@Capn_Ascii> The robot chimes in from inside Rika's pocket. "END SESSION."

(10:15:14) <@Capn_Ascii> ---END SESSION---