Princesses:Amazon Brigade/Chapter 18

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Note: This log is still in IRC format, and may be awkward to read as a result.

Chapter #18: Always Look Up

<Capn_Ascii> As we join our heroines, we find them investigating the old abandoned farmhouse. Careful, some weirdo in a mask might be hiding around any given corner! Where's that talking dog when you need him?

  • Andrea begins approaching the house carefully, watching for movement
  • Selphie stays in the ute. It's (a) the best weapon she's got, (b) the best armour she's got, (c) a getaway for the team should things turn ugly, and (d) she's not gonna get stranded way out here by The Thing In The Farmhouse stealing the ute and leaving with it.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: You mentally picture the Thing driving the truck. It's too big to fit into the cab, so you assume he would crouch in the back and reach in through the windows to work the wheel and pedals.

  • Jenny follows Andrea.

<Capn_Ascii> Andrea: The house looms meneacingly in the...midday sun? Bah, it's hard to be properly spooky in the daytime. You can see old curtains half-drawn over most of the windows, and some old wooden furniture sitting on the front porch.

  • Selphie doesn't doubt Padre has a driving licence.
  • Andrea readies her weapon and makes for the front door.
  • Andrea tries opening said door

<Capn_Ascii> Naturally, the door is...unlocked? Huh. That's a new one. It slowly creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaks open in a very loud and conspicuous manner, making you wish you'd thought to bring some grease.

  • Jenny nudges her way past Andrea, to step into the room first, chainsaw at the ready.

<Capn_Ascii> Beyond the door is a simple living room...small, with a single couch in front of an old fireplace, a writing desk against the wall, and some wicker chairs arranged in a sitting circle. You can see a kitchen on the other side of a bar-like countertop, and a hallway leads away into the depths of the house.

  • Jenny looks in the fridge.
  • Selphie cues Ghostbusters music.
  • Andrea looks through the desk
  • Suyana peeks into the hallway

<Capn_Ascii> Jenny: You step into the kitchen, which is full of the usual kitchen-y things - a stovetop oven, a fridge, and various cabinets. You open the fridge, and are very thankful to discover that the former occupants cleaned it out before they left. It's not even turned on.

<Jenny> "Aww, guys, they didn't even leave any beer. No one's been here in aaaages."

<Capn_Ascii> Andrea: Inside the desk, you find some writing paper, a pen, and a dead rat. Nothing of interest here.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: You try to turn on the radio, but it's not working. Darn.

<Andrea> "Eww. A dead rat."

  • Jenny heads down the hallway.
  • Andrea follows Jenny

<Capn_Ascii> Suyana: You see a quarter of doors - three on the sides, and one at the back end. Then, you see Andrea and Jenny's backsides as they elbow past you and into the hall. How rude.

  • Andrea starts with the door at the back and tries it.
  • Jenny opens one of the other doors at random.

<Capn_Ascii> Andrea: You open the door to reveal...the backyard. Oops, this is the back door. My, this is quite the small house, isn't it?

  • Andrea shrugs and closes the door.
  • Andrea then picks a door different from the door Jenny is opening, and opens it.

<Capn_Ascii> Andrea: You open the door to the right. It opens into a small, plain bedroom with a bed and vanity, both covered in dust.

<Capn_Ascii> Jenny: You attempt to open one of the doors on the left, but find it locked. You hear a voice from the other side. "Occupied!" Oh, must be the bathroom.

<Jenny> "Padre, is that you?"

  • Andrea blinks, and quickly checks on door number three.

<Capn_Ascii> "Who?"

<Capn_Ascii> Andrea: This door leads into a small utility room. An old washer and dryer sit here, slightly rusted from disuse. Gritty old farmhand clothes - mostly flannel shirts and overalls - are piled all over the floor. Whoever took all the beer didn't bother cleaning up after themselves back here, that's for sure.

  • Andrea sighs and closes the door. She aims her weapon at the bathroom door but doesn't say anything.

<Jenny> "Frank? Chuck? Who's in there?" Jenny bangs on the door.

  • Suyana walks over to the bathroom door. "May I ask what you're doing here, other than using the bathroom?"

<Capn_Ascii> "Me. And, no."

<Capn_Ascii> "Who the hell are you people, anyway? This house is supposed to be abandoned."

<Jenny> "Go outside and check if there's a window he can escape out of," Jenny whispers to Suyana.

  • Suyana slinks as sneakily as she can outside to where the bathroom window would be

<Capn_Ascii> Suyana: Sure enough, there's a small window here, high up on the wall, so as to prevent passerby from trying to peek inside. Because there's *so* much foot traffic around this rural farm area.

  • Suyana comes back around. "There is a window, but it's too small," she whispers to the others.

<Suyana> "We're here to investigate the recent seismic disturbances. We're giving the house a look in case it got damaged."

<Capn_Ascii> "Seems fine to me. Well, except for being an ancient piece of junk in the middle of nowhere."

  • Selphie rummages in her sportsbag, with one eye on the surroundings, to see if she packed a backup drone.

<Jenny> "Are you done in there? Can you come out so we can have this conversation face-to-face? It's kinda creepy talking to someone while they're in a bathroom."

<Suyana> "I would appreciate being able to see who I'm talking with, yeah."

<Capn_Ascii> "Yeah, well, how do you think *I* feel talking to a bunch of strangers while I'm *in* the bathroom?"

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: You reach into your bag and root around a little. Ah, yes, here it is - right between the solid-gold shoehorn and the Illuminati signet ring.

  • Andrea carefully shifts her position so her gun is no longer pointing at the door, but is able to be moved back into place. Just in case.
  • Selphie sets up the drone on the passenger seat, winds down the window, places it on the roof and launches it, taking a circuit around the barn, the grain silo and the farmstead.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: You do a quick fly-by of the farmstead, but nothing leaps out at you (figuratively or literally). Disappointed, you wind your way back to the house, where you hover right next to Andrea in that way that silently implies 'are you people done in here yet?'

<Suyana> "Probably not any better, but we can at least change the strangers part. My name is Suyana. What is yours?"

  • Jenny taps her foot impatiently, waiting for the stranger to finish up.
  • Selphie sets the drone to slowly rotate in a holding pattern, idly wondering where The Thing is.

<Capn_Ascii> "Bill. You sound hot."

  • Andrea has a hunch and pulls out her phone, attempting once more to call the Padre.

<Capn_Ascii> *ring, ring*

<Capn_Ascii> You hear the faint sound of a cell phone ringtone coming from outside.

  • Jenny runs outside, listening for the source of the ringing.
  • Selphie 's drone watches Andrea pressing buttons on her phone.
  • Selphie 's drone sees Jenny run outside, and swoops after her, trying to avoid the sprung screen door slamming on it.

<Andrea> Andrea raises an eyebrow and follows Jenny out.

<Suyana> "Ah, excuse me, Bill. I may or may not be back soon," Suyana says and tags along behind the others

<Capn_Ascii> The sound seems to be coming from the barn. The door is open.

<Jenny> Once outside, Jenny says, "Drone, go back in and watch the bathroom door; make sure he doesn't leave."

  • Jenny heads for the barn at full speed.

<Selphie> Green lights flash acknowledgement and the drone returns to hover at the back door, watching the "quartet" of doors.

<Capn_Ascii> Jenny: You step into the barn. It's about what you'd expect from an abandoned barn - large, dark, and filthy with dirt and dust. Yeeuch.

  • Jenny fiddles with her phone, trying to get a flashlight going but having trouble with the cracked screen.
  • Andrea sighs and flashlights her phone with her very much UNCRACKED screen thank you very much
  • Jenny smiles gratefully and looks around at whatever Andrea's light highlights.

<Capn_Ascii> The light is shining on a large, closet-like structure in the far corner of the barn, behind the stalls. The corner has been walled in and a door put on it, presumably a shed for storing tools. The door is cracked slightly, and the ringing is coming from inside.

  • Jenny runs over and yanks the door open wide.
  • Selphie keeps an eye on the car mirrors, the farmstead's outside, and the drone's-eye-view, noting that "Bill" doesn't seem to have emerged yet.

<Capn_Ascii> Jenny: The door opens to reveal...a toolshed! What a surprise. There are various rusted old shovels, pitchforks, and plowshares, along with a few swords that nobody got around to converting yet. A cell phone is sitting on the dirt ground, ringing impatiently.

  • Jenny picks it up and hands it to Andrea, then looks around the rest of the barn.
  • Andrea grimaces, stops her call, and looks around nervously.

<Capn_Ascii> Suyana: As everyone starts looking around, you suddenly remember that one movie where the monster set a trap for the heroes, then hid in the overhead rafters to pounce on them. Slowly, you tilt your head back and look directly upward, and find yourself looking into the eyes of The Thing - dangling upside-down by its feet from the uppermost reaches of the barn roof, peering down at you, arms outstretched as it readies to drop.

<Capn_Ascii> ...now might be a good time to say something.

<Suyana> "IT'S UP THERE!"

  • Jenny swears and lifts her chainsaw up. "Always look up, idiot, always look up," she berates herself.

<Andrea> Andrea's eyes follow Suyana's, and she quickly gets her gun into a more appropriate position. "WE FOUND IT!" Andrea yells.

<Capn_Ascii> The Thing drops.

<Capn_Ascii> Everyone dives out of the way as the creature slams into the dirt floor (wait, isn't that just called 'ground'?) with enough force to shake the ground (dirt floor?). You scramble back to your feet just in time to see it racing outside, running on all four limbs like some sort of monsterous gorilla, making a beeline for the Selphiemobile and its passenger.

  • Jenny gets up and chases the Thing with her chainsaw as fast as she can.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: You stare at the bathroomddoor via the drone. Then you stare at it some more. Then out of boredom, you glance up and happen to notice a rather large, angry-looking monster bearing down on you like a charging bull. Huh.

  • Selphie hits the ignition, slams it into First and floors the pedal to the metal.
  • Andrea takes aim and fires at the fleeing Thing.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: Faced with impending doom, you do what any sane person would do in this situation - charge towards it full-tilt! The tires grind against dirt for a moment before finding purchase, and the truck leaps forward as fast as it can go. Which admittely isn't *that* fast...it is a farm vehicle, after all. But still, pretty darned fast.

  • Selphie flips the headlights onto high beam and sets the wipers awhir.

<Capn_Ascii> Selphie: Finally, after what seems like an inordinately long amount of time (stupid slow truck), the beast is upon you! Moments before impact, you see it raising its forelimbs as it leaps upward - its hands/claws/whatever crash down upon the roof of the cab as it vaults itself over the vehicle like a gymnast over a beam! <more>

<Capn_Ascii> You immediately slam on the brakes to avoid crashing into your friends, who are quickly catching up. The truck skids to a stop between the house and the barn.

<Capn_Ascii> The Thing continues running, although Andrea notices it's favoring one leg now - her bullet must have hit its mark.

  • Jenny runs around the truck as fast as she can and continues giving chase.

<Capn_Ascii> ---END SESSION---