Geometric Archipelago:Gangs of Octagon Island/Chapter 07
Chapter Seven: Not Quite Sexual Assault
<mainstreet> ---BEGIN GAME---
<CapAscii> Ignoring the spurting wound, Ascii side-steps to get behind the woman, splattering some blood on her in the process. Just because he's spiteful like that. Oh, and also he tries to smash her skull in.
<mainstreet> "Tries" being the operative word, as he misses her head, and instead pokes at her chest, but with insufficient force to even dent her armor.
Brellius attempts to show Ascii the proper way to smash heads in by spinning his halberd around at Squadron Leader head level
<mainstreet> If by "proper way", Brellius means "dropper way", then that's what he did! As in, he promptly drops his halberd during his swing!
<mainstreet> The Squadron Leader slams her blade and rod repeatedly into Capn, but they fail to penetrate his armor or hurt him in any way. The force of the third failure from her blade causes her to drop her blade.
<Brellius> "This is going nowhere fast..."
Capn_Ascii grins. "Hey, at least she's as clumsy as you." He gleefully pounds his chest armor. "Sorry, babe. RoboCleric prevails." He immediately lashes out at her head with a vicious backhand, followed by a slightly-less-vicious uppercut.
<mainstreet> *slash* *slash* "OW!"
Brellius decides to let sleeping halberds lie, drawing the menacing pillow-headed halberd out of nowhere and taking a moment to pose with it.
<mainstreet> The Squadron Leader reaches down to pick up her weapon...
<Brellius> With a moment of overly dramatic clarity, Brellius steps forward while the background is replaced by woosh-y lines, and makes a mighty overhead swing with the deadly pillow!
<mainstreet> In the process of swinging, Brellius promptly drops *this* halberd too!
<mainstreet> ...the Squadron Leader picks up her weapon without interruption and swings with her blade and the rod at Brellius!
<mainstreet> However, she misses cleanly. Nothing but air.
<CapAscii> "Oh, for god's sake, Brellius! What did you do, powder your gloves with baby oil this morning?"
<Brellius> "I can't be at my best every day!"
<CapAscii> "We don't need your best, we need you to stop sucking."
<Brellius> "I'm working on it."
<CapAscii> "Well, try harder." Ascii goes to try and grab SL. No, not for *that*. Although he did consider it.
<mainstreet> Ascii makes a grab, but she pushes him off.
<mainstreet> She pushes him so hard, in fact, that he falls over.
<Brellius> "Now you're doing it too, man!"
<CapAscii> Ascii ends up face-down on the street. A feeling not wholly unfamiliar to him. "Dammit. I blame you, Brellius."
Brellius briefly looks between the two halberds on the ground, deciding which one he should save. Then he just picks up the pillow halberd and tries to get his head back into the fight
<mainstreet> As Brellius bends down, the Squadron Leader slashes into him.
<Brellius> "Ow! That's rude!" Brellius makes sure his hands are actually ON the halberd this time, and takes a couple of cautious swings
<mainstreet> "AHHHHHHHH!" she screams as the pillowblade slashes into her.
<mainstreet> The woman grits her teeth and tries slashing back.
<mainstreet> Unfortunately, she fails.
<Brellius> "There, now I've got my groove back!"
Capn_Ascii clambers to his feet. "Let's hope this time we can keep it."
Capn_Ascii tries to grab the SL. Unfortunately, Sexual Harassment Panda appears from nowhere and thwaps him upside the head, ruining his focus and breaking his hold.
Brellius decides to mix things up by swinging his halberd around in the general direction of the enemy
<mainstreet> *THUD* "Ack!"
<mainstreet> The Squadron Leader swings her blades back at Brellius!
<mainstreet> The Blade hacks at Brellius a few times, and never hits. The Rod, however... *DING*s into Brellius. Hard. He feels a lot weaker now.
<Capn_Ascii> Ascii, growing tired of this pronounced string of failures, decides to try and bring this to an end as quickly as possible. He hauls back, and takes a mighty swing. "See this!? This is BEAR MACE! This is the mace I use on BEARS!"
<mainstreet> The lady grimaces as she takes the hit.
Brellius gathers what strength he has left, and then tries to put this fight to bed with a mighty swing of the pillowblade
<mainstreet> The pillowblade crushes into the lady and she collapses, unconscious.
<Capn_Ascii> "Ugh, finally. That was an ordeal."
<Capn_Ascii> "C'mon, Brell, help me drag her."
<Brellius> "I'm feeling pretty tired, but I'll do what I can."
<Capn_Ascii> "Actually, go find us some place we can...'talk' to her first. Quiet, indoors, out of the way."
<Capn_Ascii> "One of those little dark rooms with the single overhead light bulb would be great, but if not, just see what you can find."
<Brellius> "Good idea." Brellius goes to search for such a place
<mainstreet> You don't find much useful, though you note that the cart is parked outside a private home, and a fairly nice home, at that.
Brellius decides to not add breaking and entering to their long list of crimes, and keeps searching
<mainstreet> Brellius walks around aimlessly for a while.
Capn_Ascii decides to search the captive while Brellius is house-hunting.
<mainstreet> Brellius walks around a bit more, and finds an apartment complex with an open door in the corner. Looks like maintenance didn't close the door properly when they left for the day.
Brellius returns to Ascii to report the potential for trespassing
<mainstreet> Capn: You find the Rod, and the Bastard Sword, and a small sealed package. And of course, her armor, and, um... the rest of that general area.
Capn_Ascii is just about to perform a more in-depth search of the area in question when Brellius returns. The cleric quickly produces the package. "Found something. Any good beat-down spots nearby?"
<Brellius> "Yeah, there's an apartment complex with the door left open."
<Capn_Ascii> "Really? Hot dog. C'mon, help me get her over there. Try not to look too conspicuous, we don't want to get spotted."
<Brellius> "Uhh...I don't have much experience being inconspicuous while dragging an unconscious body..."
<Capn_Ascii> "Just try your best."
<Brellius> "I still have those elixirs if sneakiness, actually."
<mainstreet> *clank* *clank*
<mainstreet> After a minute of walking, a man dressed completely in green steps out of a shop. "Hey, what's going on here?" he asks.
Capn_Ascii stops dead in his tracks. "Uh...hi there."
<mainstreet> "Well? What happened?"
Capn_Ascii pauses, then puts on his best "cleric of authority, nothing to see here, move along" look. "This young lady passed out after a bit too much...after-hours activity. If you know what I mean." He shrugs and grins. "We're taking her to rest up."
<mainstreet> "Uh... alright then. Just make sure that that gets reported upstairs. New code, right... failure to report something like this will probably get a bounty placed on her head. And maybe even yours too. As for me, I saw nothing," the man says, heading back into his shop.
Capn_Ascii whews. "Crap. Double-time, Brell."
<Capn_Ascii> After a few minutes, Ascii (with Brellius's help) drags the woman into the maintainence room. He quietly closes the door behind them.
Capn_Ascii surveys the room to see what he has to work with.
<mainstreet> Ascii: You see a board with several switches on it. You also see a single old, rickety chair and a few pipes and valves.
<mainstreet> There's also a small metal cabinet.
Capn_Ascii places the woman in the chair, then wraps the chains of his manacles around its back before snapping the cuffs on her. He then starts looking for a rag to gag her with, examining both the fusebox and the cabinet in the process.
<mainstreet> The box has nothing. Neither does the cabinet: it's full of spare fuses, spare pipe fittings, and a few other "spare" things.
<mainstreet> But then, how do you expect to interrogate someone who's gagged anyway?
<Capn_Ascii> "Brellius, you have any cloth?"
<Brellius> "I have a bedroll and a waterskin."
<Cap_Ascii> "No good. Okay, fine. I'm going to try and wake her up. Clamp your hand over her mouth so she doesn't scream until I can calm her down."
<Brellius> "I don't think that will work as well, but all right." Brellius performs the clamping.
<Cap_Ascii> "It's all we've got. I'm hoping she'll cooperate. Just be ready to summon your halberd and look really threatening if things go south."
Cap_Ascii proceeds to poke and prod at the woman in an attempt to rouse her.
<mainstreet> ---END SESSION---