Finals at the Academy:Campaign/Chapter 09/Choice Quotes

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Chapter 9: Dirty Dancing, Orc Style

Out2lunch: Sure is quiet in here...

Jeysie: Heh.

Out2lunch: Sure wish i could think of something to talk about... *ponders the conundrum*

Jeysie: Heh.

Out2lunch: *gives up and goes to get a snack*

Out2lunch: I could always resort to complaining about something...

Out2lunch: But i won't.

Jeysie: I sometimes wonder why my mom and my dad got along so well, since they were so different.

KajiFireson: Well... they say that opposites attract...

Out2lunch: It's how that works out sometimes...

Jeysie: My lone ex-boyfriend and I were very different, and we argued over almost everything.

Out2lunch: My best friend an i are pretty different, but we get along great.

Jeysie: Well, my female best friend and I are very different, but it doesn't get in the way that much.

Out2lunch: It's men that mess everything up.

Jeysie: No comment.

Jeysie: Nah, I like men.

Out2lunch: We know.

Jeysie: They don't like me. Such is life.

Out2lunch: Now that i can relate to.

MH: Oh please stop you two - i'm going to busrt into tears any moment now.

Jeysie: Why?

Out2lunch: Yeah, we promise that we won't blame you for the failings of your sex.

Out2lunch: Much...

Jeysie: Lunchie!

Out2lunch: Don't worry MH, we know that if you were in the same time zone as us you would be sure to hit on us without fail.

MH: Heh!! - i don't hit on every female i meet you know.

Jeysie: Only the cute ones.

Out2lunch: But that's us

Jeysie: Well, you, maybe.

Out2lunch: Pah. You're very cute jeysie, and i will hear nothing to the contrary.

Jeysie: Well, if you don't want to hear the truth, such is your choice.

Jeysie: To account for the fact that none of you can see squat, I'm keeping track of the enemy's movement separately.

Jeysie: OK. Let's see how this might work. While I'm busy looking this up, go ahead and everybody roll Initiative for later.

GameServ: Out2lunch rolled 1d20: 1 <Total: 1(+1) = 2>

Out2lunch: Urnh.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 1 <Total: 1(+3) = 4>

MH: That was just a practice roll...

GameServ: KajiFireson rolled 1d20: 11 <Total: 11(+2) = 13>

KajiFireson: Wee! Something bigger than 1!

GameServ: Nemesis rolled 1d20: 18 <Total: 18(+4) = 22>

Nemesis: Oooo.

Jeysie: OK, let's do this.

Jeysie: We'll say that Hiro uses touch to line himself up with the door, backs up ten feet, then charges forward in a straight line. Then he'll charge forward into the door. A door has an "AC" of 7.

Jeysie: If he connects, he'll do 1d6 of non-lethal damage to whatever's behind it. He can also make an opposed STR check with whatever's behind the door with a +2 bonus to his check (so, 1d20+STR mod+2). If Hiro wins, he can smush the person good and proper and add his STR bonus to the damage.

Jeysie: I think that might cover everything.

GameServ: Jeysie rolled 1d20: 5 <Total: 5(+2) = 7>

Jeysie: OK, that gives us an Initiative of Ayaka, Pyralis, Opponents, MH, and Lunchie.

Jeysie: Gah, I really need to start being consistent with whether I refer to people by their character names or not!

Jeysie: While Ayaka deals with the left-hand attacker, Hiro decides to deal with whatever is lurking on the right side of the room. He feels his way along the doors, lines himself up, and then charges forward with a mighty roar. He slams the open door backwards, and feels it collide with something that gives a grunt of pain. The something manages to bounce the door back at Hiro, but Hiro knows he dealt some pain to whatever's back there.

MH: "Mighty roar" - i like that Jeysie.

Jeysie: I thought you might.

KajiFireson: Pyralis takes off his pack and fishes around in it for a short time before pulling something out. Not knowing if there is a wall nearby to strike it on, he bends down a bit and strikes it against the ground. He holds the Sunrod up after striking it against the floor to activate it, trying to see what the hell is going on in the dark room.

Jeysie: You can see Khila'eru standing a bit in front of you and slightly off to the right, looking irritated. You can see Hiro and Ayaka in the doorway of the room ahead, standing at combat ready. The room you're currently in is empty as can be except for you and Khila'eru, and you can't see all that much beyond Hiro and Ayaka blocking your view.

Out2lunch: Khila'eru closes her eyes against the suden brightnes, then opens her eyes and looks at Hughes.

KajiFireson: Pyralis looks around and sees the combat. "What? A fight... Khila'eru," he says as he turns to the cleric, "We have to... oh, sorry. Uhm... we should probably help them out." Without waiting for her to reply, he moves towards the battle. "Let's shed a little light on the matter, shall we?"

Out2lunch: *groans*

KajiFireson: Hey... all of my witty quips can't be... well, witty.

Jeysie: The creature lurking behind the door near Ayaka bares his teeth in a sneer and says, "I was wondering when you idiots would finally decide you were better off with some light..." Then, whatever is behind the other door clears his throat emphatically, and the creature near Ayaka sighs and says, "Oh, right. Uh, GUTS SMASH!, I guess."

KajiFireson: Guts Smash?

Jeysie: ...yes?

Out2lunch: I love it.

KajiFireson: *is having a hard time picturing the orc described. Instead, he pictures a reddish cyborg... android... machine of some kind who is large, dumb, and is known for throwing boulders*

Jeysie: OK, what sort of attack?

MH: I was thinking of trying my luck with flurry again.

Jeysie: OK, two rolls, normal Melee attack - 2.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 1 <Total: 1(+2) = 3>


GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 6 <Total: 6(+2) = 8>

MH: There's a dice conspiracy against me, i'm sure of it.

Jeysie: Well, uh, we'll do what we did last time, I guess. I really need to bum a good critical miss table off somebody. But for the moment...

Jeysie: 1 Ayaka, 2 Glory, 3 Hiro, 4 Pyralis

GameServ: Jeysie rolled 1d4: 3 <Total: 3>

Jeysie: *coughs* Roll your unarmed damage, MH.

Out2lunch: That's even funier than last time.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d6: 3 <Total: 3(+3) = 6>

Jeysie: You have 6 more Non-Lethal damage, MH. *is starting to feel rather guilty now*

MH: How come?

Jeysie: Well, you rolled a 1, which is a critical miss.

MH: Oh shit, of course.

Jeysie: Last time that happened, we made a list of everyone within striking distance and rolled a die to see who got hit. In this case, you hit yourself.

MH: Poo.

Jeysie: Could be worse. If you hit Ayaka you would have knocked her out, in which case she'd be really pissed at you.

MH: That doesn't really make sense - i mean i'd have to have severe disabilities to actually beat myself up.

MH: So, now i've just lost 10 hp. I hope somebody's going to heal me.

Out2lunch: Sorry MH, not yet.

Jeysie: Dude, after this fight, Khila'eru is going to be very popular.

MH: I'm just waiting for her to lay on those healing hands.

Jeysie: *busts out laughing*

Nemesis: *snickers*

Out2lunch: Did i miss something?

Jeysie: Yes. Yes you did.

MH: *made a funny*

Jeysie: Hiro, rather pissed off at getting knocked in the arm, tries to pull back and give the creature a pair of what-fors in retaliation. The creature manages to see the blows coming, however, and uses his club to parry and send Hiro sprawling, his head connecting with the floor with an unpleasant *thud*.

Jeysie: Any last move action, MH?

MH: What, you mean like groaning on the floor in agony?

Jeysie: OK, never mind then.

Jeysie: We need to think of something to do to make the dice nicer to MH.

MH: Cheating sounds good to me...

Out2lunch: We could let him use real dice, as long as he promises not to cheat.

Jeysie: No, no cheating. I guess one of us could roll for him instead...

Out2lunch: hehehehe

GameServ: Jeysie rolled 1d20: 16 <Total: 16(+2) = 18>

GameServ: Jeysie rolled 1d20: 13 <Total: 13(+2) = 15>

Jeysie: Like that, for instance.

Out2lunch: For MH:

GameServ: Out2lunch rolled 1d20: 14 <Total: 14>

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 16 <Total: 16(+4) = 20>

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 5 <Total: 5(+4) = 9>

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 3 <Total: 3(+4) = 7>

Out2lunch: Oooo.

Out2lunch: Booo.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 14 <Total: 14(+4) = 18>

MH: Arse.

Jeysie: Lunchie could also regale how she had her very first SQ session in the midst of 2 pissy characters, one idiot character, and the AI from Hell.

MH: That could be amusing.

Out2lunch: It was. I loved every minute of it.

Out2lunch: I have to admit that X-007 is one untrusting droid. I really thought that that was a pretty convencing lie i was telling.

Jeysie: Too bad you utterly failed your Persuade check (and I almost critted mine).

Out2lunch: That was sad. And with a +6 mod too.

Jeysie: "Yeah, she's totally bullsh*tting you."

Out2lunch: But the thief on the run from, well everyone, sure! Welcome abord.

Out2lunch: And was it just me, or did the AI remind you of Marvin?

Jeysie: Like an even more antisocial version of Marvin, yes.

Out2lunch: Well i don't know that i'd go that far... a tinsy bit more insulting mabey.

Jeysie: Dude, you're lucky we stopped while you were still in one piece.

MH: I'm still convinced that you're fudging the dice rolls.

Jeysie: Nah, I'm not fudging the dice rolls. Even I'm not *that* mean to pick on one person. I prefer to spread the bad luck.

Jeysie: The bright side is that since you all have non-lethal damage at the moment, assuming you don't all get knocked out, you can sleep it off in 8 hours or so.

MH: Yeah, thats the weird thing - all the enemies have rubber on the ends of their weapons - whats that all about??

Jeysie: Because the Academy rather likes the fact that you pay them tuition and would rather not kill you before you finish paying off your loans.

Jeysie: Knock you around a bit, sure.

Jeysie: Turn you funny colors, maybe.

Jeysie: Make you smell strange, whatever. But not kill you.

MH: So the whole Tower thing is just an Academy test and not a real danger?

Jeysie: Maybe, maybe not.

MH: Or, there's a conspiracy thing going on...

Jeysie: Possibly.

MH: You're not going to give anything away are you?

Jeysie: Where would the fun in that be?

MH: *wishes that he could go online and find a walkthrough [for the campaign]*

Jeysie: Considering I haven't even finished writing the game yet, that'd be quite the feat.

Out2lunch: How goes it?

Jeysie: OK. My computer is being slow today, however.

Out2lunch: Again?

Jeysie: Well, more than usual.

Out2lunch: *kicks jeysie's computer, then hurls insults at jeysie's computer and makes rude coments about it's mother*

Out2lunch: Did that help?

Out2lunch: How art thou oh hunter of men?

MH: Trying to stay awake long enough to get through tonight's session.

Out2lunch: It's early yet. Why so run down?

MH: Well for you maybe. To many late nights and early risings.

Nemesis: *agrees with MH*

Out2lunch: *disapproves of early mornings* Really any mornings for that matter.

Jeysie: No morning people in here, eh?

Out2lunch: Only when thay come at the end of the day.

Out2lunch: Doesn't anyone have something to say?

Jeysie: Other than wondering if we can petition the sun to rise later in the day... not particularly.

MH: Yes.

Out2lunch: Well out with it man!

MH: Oh, sorry did you actually want me to tell you?

Out2lunch: Duh.

Jeysie: Intro: "The DM pushes the pause button on the controller again. Instantly all the little animations in the background start moving again, and the little turn indicator appears over Pyralis' sprite."

Jeysie: The decidedly not serious intro has been posted. If you give me a moment.

Jeysie: # # # # #

Jeysie: # A # O #

Jeysie: B # # H #

Jeysie: B O|P K|#

Jeysie: ----# #--

-> BLusk has joined ag-chat

BLusk: Guys gaming?

Out2lunch: It's kaji's turn.

KajiFireson: Yeah... but I was under the impression that Jeysie was going to post a more serious intro to today's session...

Out2lunch: But why would she want to do that?

BLusk: Serious? Jeysie? Ahem... Excuse me.

Nemesis: Why would it need to be?

Jeysie: Well, seeing as how this technically is the second half of the session anyway, I'm just going to edit the intro out.

KajiFireson: Okay. I just misinterpreted what was said.

Jeysie: Sorry, the "Give me a moment" was in regards to cooking up the ASCII map thing.

Out2lunch: Arn't misinterpritations fun? So many conversational oppurtuniies.

KajiFireson: Pyralis looks at the opponent in-front of Hiro. He says nothing as of yet, but he casts a Magic Missile at him.

GameServ: KajiFireson rolled 1d4: 4 <Total: 4(+1) = 5>

Jeysie: Nice.

KajiFireson: I try.

Out2lunch: Ooo.


Jeysie: Figuring that it worked pretty darn well the last time, Pyralis calls out his incantation and lets off another energy burst from his fingertip. It again makes an odd splash against the chest of the creature currently harrassing Hiro, though with more oomph this time.

Jeysie: The creature gets cross-eyed, says, "Yar! Magic man make ouch!" and flops over. He hits the floor like a ton of bricks, bounces a few times theatrically, flailing his arms, then lies still.

BLusk: *laughs* "Yar"

Jeysie: What can I say... some things just always work.

Jeysie: In that case, my turn.

Jeysie: The other creature sighs and says, "I'll show... er... Guts show *you* who do hit well!" He then takes a step and reaches around the door to try to tag Pyralis with his club.

GameServ: Jeysie rolled 1d20: 3 <Total: 3(+4) = 7>

BLusk: Ouch.

Jeysie: You are a very lucky sorceror, Kaji.

KajiFireson: Swing and a miss! Even for a sorceror's 12 AC...

BLusk: Shoot, I'm used to getting hit on my sorcerer's 13 AC.

Jeysie: OK, MH, your turn.

MH: Am i in a fit state to attack, seeing as i lost 10 hp yesterday?

Jeysie: You could always try your sling and stay out of harm's way that way.

MH: Well, i have 7 hit points left - it can't be as bad as yesterday. OK, i'll try the sling then.

Jeysie: Give me your missile roll.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 7 <Total: 7(+4) = 11>

Jeysie: You miss, MH, though that's better than usual.

MH: Thanks.

Out2lunch: How many HP/damage does everyone have?

Jeysie: By my count...

Jeysie: Ayaka: HP: 9, Non-Lethal: 5

Jeysie: Hiro: HP: 17, Non-Lethal: 10

Jeysie: Khila'eru: HP: 16, Non-Lethal: 8

Jeysie: Pyralis manages to remain unscathed.

Out2lunch: What's pyralis's HP?

Jeysie: A whopping 6, which is why I said he was really lucky.

Out2lunch: Thanks.

Jeysie: Hiro, wondering if maybe Pyralis is on to something with this projectile idea, pulls out his sling and fires a bullet at the one opponent still standing. It almost looks like it'll actually hit... but then it ends up whizzing past the creature's ear and plinking off the far wall instead. Hiro closes his eyes briefly and mutters indecent curses in the general direction of the gods of luck.

Out2lunch: My turn?

Jeysie: Almost... Anything else this turn, MH?

MH: Nothing apart from swearing.

Jeysie: Swear out loud then, if you like.

MH: F--------*!!!*!?@~~~!!!!*

BLusk: *covers his children's eyes* I'd cover their ears, but it's text, after all.

MH: *sighs in satisfaction* Now that feels better.

BLusk: The Swearing Monk... I wonder if he'll take after the Swearing Cleric?

Jeysie: Maybe he'll decide to sign on to the service of Pelor one day.

BLusk: He just might. In fact, he might have an opening as bunkmate at the local Temple of Pelor.

Out2lunch: Can i drop my pack, draw my sword and atack?

Jeysie: Sure.

Out2lunch: Well that's my action then.

Jeysie: OK, roll your Swordy stuff.

GameServ: Out2lunch rolled 1d20: 10 <Total: 10(+2) = 12>

Out2lunch: Hmmm.

Jeysie: Close, but not quite.

Out2lunch: #$%@

Jeysie: Man, these swearing clerics are everywhere.

Out2lunch: It was just "darn". *smiles inocently*

BLusk: Yeah, then you wouldn't have used the symbols.

MH: Mine was slightly more, er, descriptive.

BLusk: I have high sense motive when it comes to text symbiology.

KajiFireson: Welcome back.

Out2lunch: Having fun?

Jeysie: Not particularly.

Out2lunch: *hugs jeysie*

Jeysie: Since BLusk's in the room, I suggest you simply craft a mental image of the amount of swearing I'm doing at my POS computer.

Jeysie: *tries to think up Hiro Miss #48*

Jeysie: You people need to start hitting things. I'm running out of logical ideas.

Out2lunch: It's really too depressing to be snide about now.

MH: Maybe i could slip on a banana skin or something and end up on my butt as usual.

Jeysie: Kaji? Put us out of our misery, please.

KajiFireson: I intend to. Come on... good roll!

GameServ: KajiFireson rolled 1d4: 1 <Total: 1(+1) = 2>

KajiFireson: ...

Jeysie: Anything else, Kaji?

KajiFireson: Pyralis chuckles. "I don't know where you learned how to dance, but what I interrupted was a perfectly dance by NO means." Pyralis smirks to end his turn.

Out2lunch: Move!

KajiFireson: ...That would have been a good idea. Why didn't I think of that.

Jeysie: Heh! Where do you want to move to?

KajiFireson: Straight backwards out into the other room... as far as my wounded, 1 HP self can go.

Jeysie: (as Half-Orc) "Hah, I show you superior Orc dance later, magic man. In the meantime, er, Guts go over here..."

BLusk: "In the meantime... er..." Heh heh heh!

Jeysie: You like that one?

BLusk: Smart stupid orcs...

MH: Is he too far away to hit?

Jeysie: Not with your sling.

MH: OK, we'll try the sling again.

Jeysie: *crosses her fingers*

GameServ: MH rolled 1d20: 19 <Total: 19(+4) = 23>

Jeysie: YAAAAAY!

Out2lunch: Hurrah!!!!

Jeysie: Mark this day on your calendar, folks!

Out2lunch: *jumps up and down and throws confettie*

BLusk: Yay! MH hit something!

Jeysie: Roll 1d4+3, dude.

GameServ: MH rolled 1d4: 1 <Total: 1(+3) = 4>

Out2lunch: Meh. I think he's still out tho.

Jeysie: Well, I guess some things never change.

Jeysie: OK, time to have some fun here.

KajiFireson: Fun is always... er... fun. (([a=a, as I am told. Shut up wit!])) Er... uh... nevermind.

KajiFireson: Pyralis grins slightly as he walks back into the room, sunrod still in hand. "You're telling me..."

Jeysie: Aw, bother, I forgot that Pyralis left the room with the sunrod. For the sake of my sanity, we'll assume you gave the sunrod to Khila'eru when you left the room.

Out2lunch: What a good idea.

Jeysie: *makes a note to retcon that in later*

Out2lunch: Khila'eru then goes into the other room and looks about for hughes' pack.

Jeysie: You might want to either re-light the lamp or take the sunrod back first.

Out2lunch: What a good idea.

Jeysie: But you find the pack easily enough otherwise.

Out2lunch: Khila'eru offers Pyralis a sholder to lean on.

KajiFireson: Pyralis smiles slightly at Khila'eru. "Thanks," he says, standing on his own. "Hopefully I won't need it... but I'd appreciate it if you stuck around... in case I slip, ya'know?"

Out2lunch: So let me get this strait. You're going to refuse the oppurtunity to have a pretty elf put her arm around you?

KajiFireson: *grins a bit* "Sorry... but human pride is a bit stronger than male urges. At least Pyralis's is."

Jeysie: Good Bad Ugly?

KajiFireson: Good: Today's mid-session intro. Bad: Getting hit by a half-orc. Ugly: Dancing half-orc... that's illegal, isn't it?

Jeysie: Yeah, dancing half-orcs probably should be illegal.

Out2lunch: Extra good: Hiro's actually making contact with something other than his own party.

MH: Or himself.