Finals at the Academy:Campaign/Chapter 03/Choice Quotes
Chapter 3: "Just a Little Off the Top, Please..."
cardician: Hey jeysie, i think the 5 minute rule applies here. We've already begun the game, AND completed the quest. We all get 25,000 xp.
Jeysie: Er, last I checked, the 5-minute rule was that if the Professor is late, the class gets cancelled, not the entire course.
Nemesis: Nono card. We get 75,000 exp.
Jeysie: So if you want to cancel class and all go home, be my guest.
Nemesis: LOL *doesn't want to cancel*
cardician: Ummm... No thats ok.
Jeysie: I figured as much.
Jeysie: All right, I need to pass out sheets, check for mistakes, and do some blathering.
cardician: Oh no, not more blathering.
Jeysie: First off, the quick blather...
Jeysie: Cardician, I was an idiot and forgot that Barbarians start out Illiterate. So if you want to be able to read & write, you need to spend 2 skill points... essentially, take off two points from your existing ranks.
cardician: LOL, doh. How about braille? Can we just assume i was able to read the mission parchment by feeling it?
Jeysie: Uh, no, Braille still counts as literacy.
Karmillo: Or that it was stick figure drawings?
Jeysie: I mean, I can feel Braille bumps all I like but I have no idea what they mean.
cardician: Oh there you go. It was stick figure! Nice thought karm.
Karmillo: A picture of a dwarf guarding the party. Oh and the orders was a map with an X on the location?
cardician: LOL, there ya go. Even illiterate i can understand that.
Jeysie: No, it wasn't stick figures, it was writing.
cardician: LOL. So what do i put the two point into?
Jeysie: You don't need to put them anywhere... we just assume the 2 points go into some nebulous "Literacy" skill so I don't need to muck with the sheet.
cardician: *whistles snow wite* "Hi ho hi ho, its off to work i go..."
Nemesis: *waves a bottle*
Karmillo: Hey jeysie how much would a Robe weigh?
Jeysie: You RPed wearing it, so it's not a big deal. Would weigh about 6 lbs.
Jeysie: I.E. the clothes you're wearing don't generally count towards your carrying weight.
cardician: Wow, a 6lb robe. Is it sewn out of lead?
Jeysie: Clothes are heavy. Try weighing your own clothes sometime.
cardician: LOL, ok, i'll go do that right now, one sec.
Jeysie: I'll note that I also added you guys some "pocket change". I based the amount on the average starting gold for each class, vs. how much equipment you got assigned.
Jeysie: Karmillo technically got more equipment than the amount of gold he'd normally start with, so I fudged him an allowance.
cardician: Hey, i have 32 gold!!! I'm rich!
Karmillo: My gold got Nerfed.
Jeysie: Technically, when comparing your equipment vs. average starting gold for a Sorceror, you should be getting -20 gp, so don't whine too much.
MH: 2 gold?
Jeysie: Monks as a class don't have a high starting gold. Since Monks don't need fancy armor or weapons, they generally don't suffer with less gold.
MH: I guess i'm just greedy.
cardician: LOL, karm you have -20 gold. Thats awesome!
Karmillo: Hell no ive got 7!
cardician: I wonder what negative money looks like. Oh, well you should have negative gold.
Karmillo: I think that would mean I would have started out with 27.
Jeysie: I think that means that the DM was nice and gave you 7GP instead of -20 GP.
Karmillo: Hey do we get the gold back when we have to hand the items back?
Jeysie: Yes, you get the gold back when you return your equipment. That's why I wrote in the value of the Issued Equipment.
Karmillo: So... how much gold would that be then if I should be in -20?
Jeysie: You'll get the same value back, I'm not going to subtract the 20.
Out2Lunch: Wooden holy symbol weighs a pound?! Couldn't I have a small aluminum one?
Jeysie: Aluminum isn't a common medieval metal.
Out2Lunch: Oh, qty not weight. Sorry.
Out2Lunch: Something nicer thatn wood then? I just can't see an elf wearing wood.
Jeysie: Well, that's just for the weight... the D&D manual only lists wooden and silver, and silver's out of your price range, so to speak.
Out2Lunch: Family heirloom?
Jeysie: Well, the starting gold is sort of an abstract concept... just the value of what you start out with.
Jeysie: I'll give you a "discount". I'll let the symbol be silver if you're willing to drop 10 gp from your pocket change.
Karmillo: Cant see an elf wearing wood? Dont they live in the forest?
Nemesis: Ayaka does. Ayaka has a snake for a pet too.
Karmillo: I wanted a Hellhound but I need money.
Jeysie: Ah, yes. You have a snake, but it doesn't give you any special powers.
Nemesis: I know.
Jeysie: Just checking.
Nemesis: It's just a pit viper.
Jeysie: And before you gripe, familiars do give special powers, which is why they cost money.
Karmillo: Yeah I know.
Jeysie: Just checking.
Karmillo: Cant stop me being sad about being poor though.
Jeysie: Dude, you may not have a lot of gold, but you have a pocketful of neat magic items. I wouldn't gripe too much if I was you.
Karmillo: Im naturaly sad though. And I got magic Items? I thought I just got a bunch of alchemy ingredients?
Jeysie: Try looking up what Acid, Fire, Sunrods, and whatnot actually do. You'll be less sad.
Karmillo: Oh I know what acid is, can hardly call that magical. Its science!
Jeysie: Guess what alchemy is? Magic science.
Karmillo: Its science without the rules.
Jeysie: Like I said, magic science. It has rules, just magical ones.
cardician: *falls asleep standing up*
Nemesis: *creeps up behidn cardician and... slaps cardician around a bit with a large trout*
cardician: Damn fish.
Karmillo: What effect would shoving all this stuff together have?
Jeysie: Lots of broken and wasted items.
Karmillo: No bang?
Nemesis: You want a bang?
MH: *dreams that he is in a nighmare world where he is being bombarded with endless questions from karmillo*
Karmillo: Yeah, last resort type thing.
Jeysie: Possibly a very nice bang right in the hands of the person in the middle of smushing it together.
Nemesis: *smacks Karmillo around the head with a Punica: Redfruits Bottle* *THWACK* *SHATTER* *CRASH*
Nemesis: There. That a bang enough?
Jeysie: I.E. one very nice suicide bomb, at your level.
Karmillo: Sometimes you have to take one for the team.
Jeysie: And if you use it short of being attacked by several enemies several times your level, the DM rewind remote is coming down.
Jeysie: I.E. for pity's sake, could you possibly not blow everything up and give some semblance of seriousness to following the plot, or at least RPing?
Jeysie: In the middle of the room is a desk occupied by a very bored-looking Human woman reading a book. Since it is rather early in the day, there doesn't seem to be any other students besides yourselves looking to get transported anywhere.
Jeysie: The clerk at the desk looks up at all of you questioningly. "Can I help you?"
cardician: (as Redhill) "We're headed to Clarksburg lad. Fire up our transport so we can be off!"
Jeysie: "That's Ma'am to you, dearie."
Jeysie: *pats Cardie*
Jeysie: The clerk gestures at Redhill and Karmillo. "Well, gentlemen, last call, as it were."
cardician: (as Redhill) "Head through half-br... err... sorcerer."
Karmillo: (as Karmillo) "By all means, after you."
cardician: Redhill grabs the sorcerer by the robes and tosses him into a circle.
Jeysie: OK, pause for a moment!
cardician: Doh, i was afraid of that.
Jeysie: We need to roll for that, Cardie.
Nemesis: I knew it was coming.
Jeysie: *looks up the "throwing people around" combat rules*
Nemesis: They are acting liek chidlren. Very young children. *tease*
MH: For god's sake, my distracvtion was due to a call of nature but you two are just taking the biscuit!
Out2Lunch: They are children.
Nemesis: Younger than 6?
Jeysie: I would point out that while Karmillo is a young punk age-wise, Redhill is technically old enough to know better.
cardician: Hey, i'm young in dwarf years. Besides, i don't like elves that talk back.
Karmillo: But Im half elf, so you should only Half not like me.
cardician: Don't worry, we'll get there. I think eventually you and i will team up and kill off the rest of the team.
cardician: Err... I mean...
Jeysie: I would also point out that while I'm trying to figure this out, everyone else has to wait.
MH: Aargh! this is why we only get anout 10 mins of RPing done in a 3 hour session.
Jeysie: Well, we can still rewind the toss, and personally I wish you would, but if he won't, we need to continue.
Out2Lunch: Well you can't really expect a dwarf to hold his temper.
Karmillo: Well im not the one who tossed so youd have to ask Red.
Jeysie: I didn't address you by name, so I wouldn't get defensive. I.E. I know that.
Nemesis: *slaps Redhill around a bit with a large trout*
Nemesis: *slaps Karmillo around a bit with a large trout*
Nemesis: Both of you. Grow up.
Jeysie: So, rewind, or do we go on?
cardician: I got a perfect 20 baby, i'm tossing him.
Karmillo: Why did I get slapped?
cardician: He needs to learn to listen when told by a dwarf to do something.
Jeysie: *sighs* Whatever.
Hiro: *wonders how he ended up in a kindergarten class*
Jeysie: I wonder that myself.
Jeysie: If it makes you other three feel better, once we get them through the circle, they get to snore while you all get to RP for a while.
MH: Yay! About time.
Jeysie: OK, let me setup the other side of the circle. MH, you get to RP alone for a few moments, then I'll bring in Nemesis and Lunchie.
MH: Oh, i don't like the sound of that.
Out2Lunch: The sound of what?
MH: RPing alone, what if the bad people get me?
Jeysie: After a period of time which consists of the general sensation of being squished into an infinitely small and dense point, hurled through space for a bit, and tossed around like a busboy handling luggage poorly, Hiro gets spit out back into existence with a *poof*! He finds himself alone in a small clearing within what seems to be a grove of trees. There is a small sign on one tree.
Out2Lunch: Shouldn't that be *foop*?
Jeysie: I like that idea.
cardician: Suddenly 12,000 angry gnomes rush out of the woods and converge on hiro.
cardician: "DIE MONK" Hiro dies.
Jeysie: No. For one, I'd have to roll the stats for 12,000 angry Gnomes.
cardician: LOL That might take awhile.
Karmillo: Couldnt they be treated as one enity?
cardician: One GIANT gnome consisting of 24,000 arms.
Jeysie: Anyhoo. Since everyone's waiting, let me pose bringing Cardie and Karm back into things.
MH: Do we have to?
cardician: Well its nice to know we're wanted.
MH: We love you really.
cardician: Oh of course, clearly.
Nemesis: Yes. We do.
Nemesis: *wuvs everyone she knows. really*
Out2Lunch: So anyway, does the bro. have a map?
Jeysie: Eep, I forgot to answer that.
Jeysie: The brochure does have a small hand-drawn map, in simple icon style. There's a legend underneath the map marking some notable places.
Out2Lunch: I want to read the map, but I'll wait till your finished with the guard.
Jeysie: *coughs slightly and looks embarrased* Well, ya see, the town currently has three set places. Anything else you want to look for, I'll, er, pull out of my butt.
Jeysie: (as guard) "Huhhh... wha? Oh. Sorry, it's a bit early, you know." The guard stretches and yawns. "Can I help ya?"
cardician: (as Redhill) "We'd like to enter. So... open the gate."
Jeysie: The guard answers, "Yeah, sure, open the gate. You folks got citizen papers or Academy IDs for me, or do ya need visitor stuff?"
cardician: (as Redhill) "We're good thanks." Redhill opens the gate and heads in.
Jeysie: Redhill goes over to the gate and finds that it's rather locked.
cardician: Didn't he just tell us to open it?
cardician: Oh, i think i get it. Sorry.
Jeysie: Sorry, he was being a pest.
cardician: Redhill opens the door to the shop.
Jeysie: Redhill opens the door and finds that it... is completely not locked and opens freely.
cardician: About time a door i try is unlocked.
Jeysie: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
Nemesis: I'm likely the eldest here but with that tantrumm... I acted lik the youngest.
MH: You're not the eldest.
Nemesis: I'm not? YAY
MH: Er, no - look at the ag forums and read my profile.
Out2Lunch: This I've got to see.
MH: *embarrassingly acknowledges that he is probably the oldest person here*
Nemesis: That's not old. That's sweet. And you're just down the road from me too.
Out2Lunch: Yeah not *too* old.
MH: Me? Yes i am.
Nemesis: That's not old at all.
Jeysie: MH, I was very much joking about the 30=over the hill jokes. I don't think you're old.
MH: I know, 30 something is suposed to be old but i really don't feel my age.
Jeysie: Nah, 30's not old.
Nemesis: 50 is old. Your age and lower is young.
MH: Ooh, that IS old.
Jeysie: Oh, XP. You all accomplished getting into the city. For that, 50XP folks.
-> BLusk has joined ag-chat
BLusk: How goes the RP?
BLusk: That good, eh?
Karmillo: It exploded.
Jeysie: We've lost a player for the moment.
BLusk: Uh oh... which one?
Karmillo: The dwarf.
BLusk: Uh oh... he was so mad at Dwarf Tossing by Dan he just up and quit?
Jeysie: We had a temper flare and a OOC tussle and Cardie stormed off.
BLusk: Lovely. How bad? And what happened?
out2lunch: Head shaving was involved.
Jeysie: The summary:
Jeysie: Redhill's the only one who's seen the quest note at the moment.
Jeysie: Redhill tried to convince everyone that the quest somehow involved the ladies getting their heads shaved.
Jeysie: People got upset over that OOC...
Jeysie: And it ended with Cardie complaining that everyone was getting to touchy over his trying to spice up the RP and left.
BLusk: "Spice up" the RP? *sighs*
Karmillo: Well you cant blame people for asking questions, I know youve played D&D before but i have no idea about it.
MH: Yes, I suppose i should have considered that. BUT, i should also add that there are plenty of websites with D&D info. I know I neded to brush up on a lot of stuff.
Karmillo: That D&D source site is a but intimiadting though... theres just sooo much.
Jeysie: I'd honestly recommend buying the book, Karm... it's still a lot of stuff, but it's laid out a bit better. I was hoping not to have to make you guys spend money, but the SRD is rather confuddling, not to mention incomplete.
MH: Hehe - i've only got the original rule book from 1978.
out2lunch: Hehe old man with his old book.
MH: You're not funny!
out2lunch: I'm not?
MH: No, you're not... Funny, that is.
out2lunch: *pouts over man's comment*
BLusk: "Why, back when I was a young'n, we had THAC0! And we liked it, cause that's how it was!"
Jeysie: Oh, geez, THAC0 is the product of an insane mind. I never did figure out how that worked properly.
out2lunch: What's THACO?
BLusk: To Hit AC 0... Yeah, it's nightmarish.
BLusk: MH, don't worry. Some of us have been around quite a few years ourselves.
MH: Hmmm... as many as me?
BLusk: Dunno... how old are you?
MH: Er... argh... 30*coughssomething*
BLusk: Well, you have almost exactly *coughsomething* years on me.
MH: Well, thats ok then.
BLusk: My birthday is in about 2 months. I'll turn 30 then.
BLusk: So, literally, you have *coughsomething* years on me.
MH: My birthday was in Feb, and i'm still older than you...
BLusk: So what? I'm pointing out that you aren't the only person around that's referred to as Old Man. I'm the oldest person in most every online place I frequent.
MH: Ah, ok.
Jeysie: Yeah, BLusk's been the resident Old Fart for a while.
MH: I wouldn't want to take his title.
BLusk: Age and Treachery will beat Youth and Vigor any time!
MH: On that i have to agree.