Finals at the Academy:Campaign/Chapter 03/Choice Quotes

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Chapter 3: "Just a Little Off the Top, Please..."

cardician: Hey jeysie, i think the 5 minute rule applies here. We've already begun the game, AND completed the quest. We all get 25,000 xp.

Jeysie: Er, last I checked, the 5-minute rule was that if the Professor is late, the class gets cancelled, not the entire course.

Nemesis: Nono card. We get 75,000 exp.

Jeysie: So if you want to cancel class and all go home, be my guest.

Nemesis: LOL *doesn't want to cancel*

cardician: Ummm... No thats ok.

Jeysie: I figured as much.

Jeysie: All right, I need to pass out sheets, check for mistakes, and do some blathering.

cardician: Oh no, not more blathering.

Jeysie: First off, the quick blather...

Jeysie: Cardician, I was an idiot and forgot that Barbarians start out Illiterate. So if you want to be able to read & write, you need to spend 2 skill points... essentially, take off two points from your existing ranks.

cardician: LOL, doh. How about braille? Can we just assume i was able to read the mission parchment by feeling it?

Jeysie: Uh, no, Braille still counts as literacy.

Karmillo: Or that it was stick figure drawings?

Jeysie: I mean, I can feel Braille bumps all I like but I have no idea what they mean.

cardician: Oh there you go. It was stick figure! Nice thought karm.

Karmillo: A picture of a dwarf guarding the party. Oh and the orders was a map with an X on the location?

cardician: LOL, there ya go. Even illiterate i can understand that.

Jeysie: No, it wasn't stick figures, it was writing.

cardician: LOL. So what do i put the two point into?

Jeysie: You don't need to put them anywhere... we just assume the 2 points go into some nebulous "Literacy" skill so I don't need to muck with the sheet.

cardician: *whistles snow wite* "Hi ho hi ho, its off to work i go..."

Nemesis: *waves a bottle*

Karmillo: Hey jeysie how much would a Robe weigh?

Jeysie: You RPed wearing it, so it's not a big deal. Would weigh about 6 lbs.

Jeysie: I.E. the clothes you're wearing don't generally count towards your carrying weight.

cardician: Wow, a 6lb robe. Is it sewn out of lead?

Jeysie: Clothes are heavy. Try weighing your own clothes sometime.

cardician: LOL, ok, i'll go do that right now, one sec.

Jeysie: I'll note that I also added you guys some "pocket change". I based the amount on the average starting gold for each class, vs. how much equipment you got assigned.

Jeysie: Karmillo technically got more equipment than the amount of gold he'd normally start with, so I fudged him an allowance.

cardician: Hey, i have 32 gold!!! I'm rich!

Karmillo: My gold got Nerfed.

Jeysie: Technically, when comparing your equipment vs. average starting gold for a Sorceror, you should be getting -20 gp, so don't whine too much.

MH: 2 gold?

Jeysie: Monks as a class don't have a high starting gold. Since Monks don't need fancy armor or weapons, they generally don't suffer with less gold.

MH: I guess i'm just greedy.

cardician: LOL, karm you have -20 gold. Thats awesome!

Karmillo: Hell no ive got 7!

cardician: I wonder what negative money looks like. Oh, well you should have negative gold.

Karmillo: I think that would mean I would have started out with 27.

Jeysie: I think that means that the DM was nice and gave you 7GP instead of -20 GP.

Karmillo: Hey do we get the gold back when we have to hand the items back?

Jeysie: Yes, you get the gold back when you return your equipment. That's why I wrote in the value of the Issued Equipment.

Karmillo: So... how much gold would that be then if I should be in -20?

Jeysie: You'll get the same value back, I'm not going to subtract the 20.

Out2Lunch: Wooden holy symbol weighs a pound?! Couldn't I have a small aluminum one?

Jeysie: Aluminum isn't a common medieval metal.

Out2Lunch: Oh, qty not weight. Sorry.

Out2Lunch: Something nicer thatn wood then? I just can't see an elf wearing wood.

Jeysie: Well, that's just for the weight... the D&D manual only lists wooden and silver, and silver's out of your price range, so to speak.

Out2Lunch: Family heirloom?

Jeysie: Well, the starting gold is sort of an abstract concept... just the value of what you start out with.

Jeysie: I'll give you a "discount". I'll let the symbol be silver if you're willing to drop 10 gp from your pocket change.

Out2Lunch: Alright.

Karmillo: Cant see an elf wearing wood? Dont they live in the forest?

Nemesis: Ayaka does. Ayaka has a snake for a pet too.

Karmillo: I wanted a Hellhound but I need money.

Jeysie: Ah, yes. You have a snake, but it doesn't give you any special powers.

Nemesis: I know.

Jeysie: Just checking.

Nemesis: It's just a pit viper.

Jeysie: And before you gripe, familiars do give special powers, which is why they cost money.

Karmillo: Yeah I know.

Jeysie: Just checking.

Karmillo: Cant stop me being sad about being poor though.

Jeysie: Dude, you may not have a lot of gold, but you have a pocketful of neat magic items. I wouldn't gripe too much if I was you.

Karmillo: Im naturaly sad though. And I got magic Items? I thought I just got a bunch of alchemy ingredients?

Jeysie: Try looking up what Acid, Fire, Sunrods, and whatnot actually do. You'll be less sad.

Karmillo: Oh I know what acid is, can hardly call that magical. Its science!

Jeysie: Guess what alchemy is? Magic science.

Karmillo: Its science without the rules.

Jeysie: Like I said, magic science. It has rules, just magical ones.

cardician: *falls asleep standing up*

Nemesis: *creeps up behidn cardician and... slaps cardician around a bit with a large trout*

cardician: Damn fish.

Karmillo: What effect would shoving all this stuff together have?

Jeysie: Lots of broken and wasted items.

Karmillo: No bang?

Nemesis: You want a bang?

MH: *dreams that he is in a nighmare world where he is being bombarded with endless questions from karmillo*

Karmillo: Yeah, last resort type thing.

Jeysie: Possibly a very nice bang right in the hands of the person in the middle of smushing it together.

Nemesis: *smacks Karmillo around the head with a Punica: Redfruits Bottle* *THWACK* *SHATTER* *CRASH*

Nemesis: There. That a bang enough?

Jeysie: I.E. one very nice suicide bomb, at your level.

Karmillo: Sometimes you have to take one for the team.

Jeysie: And if you use it short of being attacked by several enemies several times your level, the DM rewind remote is coming down.

Jeysie: I.E. for pity's sake, could you possibly not blow everything up and give some semblance of seriousness to following the plot, or at least RPing?

Jeysie: In the middle of the room is a desk occupied by a very bored-looking Human woman reading a book. Since it is rather early in the day, there doesn't seem to be any other students besides yourselves looking to get transported anywhere.

Jeysie: The clerk at the desk looks up at all of you questioningly. "Can I help you?"

cardician: (as Redhill) "We're headed to Clarksburg lad. Fire up our transport so we can be off!"

Jeysie: "That's Ma'am to you, dearie."

cardician: DOH!

Jeysie: *pats Cardie*

Jeysie: The clerk gestures at Redhill and Karmillo. "Well, gentlemen, last call, as it were."

cardician: (as Redhill) "Head through half-br... err... sorcerer."

Karmillo: (as Karmillo) "By all means, after you."

cardician: Redhill grabs the sorcerer by the robes and tosses him into a circle.

Jeysie: OK, pause for a moment!

cardician: Doh, i was afraid of that.

Jeysie: We need to roll for that, Cardie.

Nemesis: I knew it was coming.

Jeysie: *looks up the "throwing people around" combat rules*

Nemesis: They are acting liek chidlren. Very young children. *tease*

MH: For god's sake, my distracvtion was due to a call of nature but you two are just taking the biscuit!

Out2Lunch: They are children.

Nemesis: Younger than 6?

Jeysie: I would point out that while Karmillo is a young punk age-wise, Redhill is technically old enough to know better.

cardician: Hey, i'm young in dwarf years. Besides, i don't like elves that talk back.

Karmillo: But Im half elf, so you should only Half not like me.

cardician: Don't worry, we'll get there. I think eventually you and i will team up and kill off the rest of the team.

cardician: Err... I mean...

Jeysie: I would also point out that while I'm trying to figure this out, everyone else has to wait.

MH: Aargh! this is why we only get anout 10 mins of RPing done in a 3 hour session.

Jeysie: Well, we can still rewind the toss, and personally I wish you would, but if he won't, we need to continue.

Out2Lunch: Well you can't really expect a dwarf to hold his temper.

Karmillo: Well im not the one who tossed so youd have to ask Red.

Jeysie: I didn't address you by name, so I wouldn't get defensive. I.E. I know that.

Nemesis: *slaps Redhill around a bit with a large trout*

Nemesis: *slaps Karmillo around a bit with a large trout*

Nemesis: Both of you. Grow up.

Jeysie: So, rewind, or do we go on?

cardician: I got a perfect 20 baby, i'm tossing him.

Karmillo: Why did I get slapped?

cardician: He needs to learn to listen when told by a dwarf to do something.

Jeysie: *sighs* Whatever.

Hiro: *wonders how he ended up in a kindergarten class*

Jeysie: I wonder that myself.

Jeysie: If it makes you other three feel better, once we get them through the circle, they get to snore while you all get to RP for a while.

MH: Yay! About time.

Jeysie: OK, let me setup the other side of the circle. MH, you get to RP alone for a few moments, then I'll bring in Nemesis and Lunchie.

MH: Oh, i don't like the sound of that.

Out2Lunch: The sound of what?

MH: RPing alone, what if the bad people get me?

Jeysie: After a period of time which consists of the general sensation of being squished into an infinitely small and dense point, hurled through space for a bit, and tossed around like a busboy handling luggage poorly, Hiro gets spit out back into existence with a *poof*! He finds himself alone in a small clearing within what seems to be a grove of trees. There is a small sign on one tree.

Out2Lunch: Shouldn't that be *foop*?

Jeysie: I like that idea.

cardician: Suddenly 12,000 angry gnomes rush out of the woods and converge on hiro.

cardician: "DIE MONK" Hiro dies.

Jeysie: No. For one, I'd have to roll the stats for 12,000 angry Gnomes.

cardician: LOL That might take awhile.

Karmillo: Couldnt they be treated as one enity?

cardician: One GIANT gnome consisting of 24,000 arms.

Jeysie: Anyhoo. Since everyone's waiting, let me pose bringing Cardie and Karm back into things.

MH: Do we have to?

Jeysie: Yes.

Nemesis: Aww.

cardician: Well its nice to know we're wanted.

MH: We love you really.

cardician: Oh of course, clearly.

Nemesis: Yes. We do.

MH: Ditto.

Nemesis: *wuvs everyone she knows. really*

Out2Lunch: So anyway, does the bro. have a map?

Jeysie: Eep, I forgot to answer that.

Jeysie: The brochure does have a small hand-drawn map, in simple icon style. There's a legend underneath the map marking some notable places.

Out2Lunch: I want to read the map, but I'll wait till your finished with the guard.

Jeysie: *coughs slightly and looks embarrased* Well, ya see, the town currently has three set places. Anything else you want to look for, I'll, er, pull out of my butt.

Out2Lunch: LOL

Jeysie: (as guard) "Huhhh... wha? Oh. Sorry, it's a bit early, you know." The guard stretches and yawns. "Can I help ya?"

cardician: (as Redhill) "We'd like to enter. So... open the gate."

Jeysie: The guard answers, "Yeah, sure, open the gate. You folks got citizen papers or Academy IDs for me, or do ya need visitor stuff?"

cardician: (as Redhill) "We're good thanks." Redhill opens the gate and heads in.

Jeysie: Redhill goes over to the gate and finds that it's rather locked.

cardician: Didn't he just tell us to open it?

cardician: Oh, i think i get it. Sorry.

Jeysie: Sorry, he was being a pest.

cardician: Redhill opens the door to the shop.

Jeysie: Redhill opens the door and finds that it... is completely not locked and opens freely.

cardician: About time a door i try is unlocked.

Jeysie: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

Nemesis: I'm likely the eldest here but with that tantrumm... I acted lik the youngest.

MH: You're not the eldest.

Nemesis: I'm not? YAY

MH: Er, no - look at the ag forums and read my profile.

Out2Lunch: This I've got to see.

MH: *embarrassingly acknowledges that he is probably the oldest person here*

Nemesis: That's not old. That's sweet. And you're just down the road from me too.

Out2Lunch: Yeah not *too* old.

MH: Me? Yes i am.

Nemesis: That's not old at all.

Jeysie: MH, I was very much joking about the 30=over the hill jokes. I don't think you're old.

MH: I know, 30 something is suposed to be old but i really don't feel my age.

Jeysie: Nah, 30's not old.

Nemesis: 50 is old. Your age and lower is young.

MH: Ooh, that IS old.

Nemesis: Exactly.

Jeysie: Oh, XP. You all accomplished getting into the city. For that, 50XP folks.

-> BLusk has joined ag-chat

BLusk: How goes the RP?

Jeysie: Lousy.

BLusk: That good, eh?

Karmillo: It exploded.

Jeysie: We've lost a player for the moment.

BLusk: Uh oh... which one?

Karmillo: The dwarf.

BLusk: Uh oh... he was so mad at Dwarf Tossing by Dan he just up and quit?

Jeysie: We had a temper flare and a OOC tussle and Cardie stormed off.

BLusk: Lovely. How bad? And what happened?

out2lunch: Head shaving was involved.

Jeysie: The summary:

Jeysie: Redhill's the only one who's seen the quest note at the moment.

Jeysie: Redhill tried to convince everyone that the quest somehow involved the ladies getting their heads shaved.

Jeysie: People got upset over that OOC...

Jeysie: And it ended with Cardie complaining that everyone was getting to touchy over his trying to spice up the RP and left.

BLusk: "Spice up" the RP? *sighs*

Karmillo: Well you cant blame people for asking questions, I know youve played D&D before but i have no idea about it.

MH: Yes, I suppose i should have considered that. BUT, i should also add that there are plenty of websites with D&D info. I know I neded to brush up on a lot of stuff.

Karmillo: That D&D source site is a but intimiadting though... theres just sooo much.

Jeysie: I'd honestly recommend buying the book, Karm... it's still a lot of stuff, but it's laid out a bit better. I was hoping not to have to make you guys spend money, but the SRD is rather confuddling, not to mention incomplete.

MH: Hehe - i've only got the original rule book from 1978.

out2lunch: Hehe old man with his old book.

MH: You're not funny!

out2lunch: I'm not?

MH: No, you're not... Funny, that is.

out2lunch: *pouts over man's comment*

BLusk: "Why, back when I was a young'n, we had THAC0! And we liked it, cause that's how it was!"

Jeysie: Oh, geez, THAC0 is the product of an insane mind. I never did figure out how that worked properly.

out2lunch: What's THACO?

BLusk: To Hit AC 0... Yeah, it's nightmarish.

BLusk: MH, don't worry. Some of us have been around quite a few years ourselves.

MH: Hmmm... as many as me?

BLusk: Dunno... how old are you?

MH: Er... argh... 30*coughssomething*

BLusk: Well, you have almost exactly *coughsomething* years on me.

MH: Well, thats ok then.

BLusk: My birthday is in about 2 months. I'll turn 30 then.

BLusk: So, literally, you have *coughsomething* years on me.

MH: My birthday was in Feb, and i'm still older than you...

BLusk: So what? I'm pointing out that you aren't the only person around that's referred to as Old Man. I'm the oldest person in most every online place I frequent.

MH: Ah, ok.

Jeysie: Yeah, BLusk's been the resident Old Fart for a while.

MH: I wouldn't want to take his title.

BLusk: Age and Treachery will beat Youth and Vigor any time!

MH: On that i have to agree.