Finals at the Academy:Campaign/Chapter 02/Choice Quotes

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Chapter 2: "I'll Take That One, and That One, and That One Over There..."

Karmillo: Im not late this time.

Jeysie: Nope. In fact, you're 22 minutes early.


-> Cardician has joined ag-chat

Cardician: Everybody's favorite dwarf is here!

Jeysie: Yay, everyone's here! Sort of, anyway.

Cardician: Sort of?

Jeysie: Lunchie and Karmillo are AFK.

Cardician: Ah. Slackers.

Jeysie: I might as well make a pit stop.

Cardician: Don't forget to feed the cat!

Jeysie: Cat's already fed.


Jeysie: Anyhoo. Everyone here? Karmillo? I need to blather for a short bit, then we can get started.

Karmillo: Back.

Jeysie: Well, first off, before Karmillo gets back, I'll mention the bit that you four need to worry about. Y'all get 75 XP for knocking out Karmillo. That's in addition to your existing 100XP.

Jeysie: Ah, he's back.

Karmillo: My ears are burning!


MH: Are we able to know the amount of xp needed to progress to the next level?

Jeysie: It's on your sheet. Look for "XP Total/Next Level".

MH: Ah, found it.

MH: You can blather now.


Jeysie: My other blather was that things went a little too fast last session for me to keep up. There were a few things I should've responded to, and a couple things I should have asked for rolls for probably, and such. Plus a couple people mentioned having to race to get responses in. So on that note, I was thinking of a system to take things a little more deliberately.

cardician: Force everyone to learn to type faster?

Jeysie: Er, not quite.


MH: Argh, don't say force - i need to get out of star wars mode!

Karmillo: The force is no good for typing though.

MH: It could be a new force power.


Jeysie: Anyhoo. So. To recap: Dialogue between players and actions that don't "do" anything (straightening your shirt, rolling your eyes, picking your nose, etc.) you can do at your own pace. Everything else, pause and discuss in here until I give the go-ahead.

Karmillo: What about blowing up a tree?

Jeysie: Blowing up a tree requires a pause.

Karmillo: OK.

Jeysie: Blowing up *anything* requires a pause.


Karmillo: Do trees have AC modifiers?

Jeysie: Yes, trees do have AC, actually.

Karmillo: Dammit. What about a rock?

Jeysie: Technically everything "solid" has an AC and HP, even objects.

Karmillo: Dammit.


Jeysie: Any other questions?

MH: Let's go!

cardician: Lets see what damage we can do to karmillo this round!

cardician: Errr... i mean...

Jeysie: I heard that.


Out2Lunch: We ended with Karm asleep on the floor yeah?

Jeysie: Yep, Karm's snoring on the ground, Headmaster just made pithy comment about Party harmony not working so well, moving on from there. Current "goal" is to get you your assignments and down to the Quartermaster in 55 minutes of real life time.

cardician: No problem.


Jeysie: The Headmaster pulls a pen and a piece of parchment out of his pockets, while the Professor digs out the assignment sheets.

Nemesis: Ayaka looks up, listening intently now. She blinks then, narrowing her eyes slightly before she glances around, shaking her ehad in disgust.

Out2Lunch: Khila'eru rubs her sholder, and waits in silence.

Karmillo: Karmillo Lies Unconsciouse In an Awesome manner.

cardician: LOL, no one else could be unconscious quite so awesome Karm.


Karmillo: So when do I wake up?

Jeysie: Not until we get to the Quartermaster. You'll know when.

Karmillo: Is that the weapon guy?

Jeysie: Yep.

Karmillo: ...wait what wepons can I use atm?

Jeysie: None, you're unconscious.


cardician: Redhill having memorized the task, proceeds to eat the parchment.

Jeysie: OK, I need to respond to Cardie trying to eat the parchment. Unless someone else wants to try to save the parchment.

cardician: Oh sorry. Didn't realize that was a dice roll action. Imagine screwing up eating the parchment.

Karmillo: Yeah Paper has HP as well you know. And AC, it could have dodged your munched.

cardician: Wonder how much damage my teeth do.


Jeysie: OK, I'll assume that the Professor is, er, disarming Redhill of the paper.


Jeysie: The Professor successfully snatches the paper. Lemme pose that.

Out2Lunch: Just ignore my action then.

Jeysie: Actually, er, just so I don't have to rewind Lunchie's action, give me a Melee roll. Unless you want to rewind it.

Out2Lunch: It seems redundant now...

Jeysie: OK.

Out2Lunch: Actually I saw it as: the paper became lodged in Red's throat and he began to choak on it, I then give him the himlick.

cardician: No hugging the dwarf. Then i'd have to bite you and it would be more rolling.

Out2Lunch: You would be choking!

cardician: Doesn't matter. We dwarves are proud.


Nemesis: Ayaka narrows her eyes and glares at the dwarf. "Don't be an oaf! Some of us want to pass this test. if you don't then go to hell. Because the rest of us... do." She is not even midly irritated even though she seems that way.

cardician: I don't think they have Hell in D&D. Maybe some other plain.

Jeysie: Oh, trust me, The Nine Hells are present.

Karmillo: The number nine!?


Nemesis: Ayaka narrows her eyes and glares at the dwarf. "Don't be an oaf! Some of us want to pass this test. if you don't then go to hell. Because the rest of us... do." She is not even midly irritated even though she seems that way.

cardician: Redhill can't understand when Ayaka tries to project thoughts at him. Redhill wonders if she can't talk.

Nemesis: *SMACKS Redhill*

Nemesis: She was talking. In common.

cardician: LOL, nope appears as an action to me. I take that as thought.

Nemesis: " LALALALA" is speaking

Nemesis: 'lalalal' is uhm soemthign else.

Nemesis: ~lalala~ is thought.

Jeysie: Cardie, they're talking to you, for pity's sake.

cardician: Alright alright. Its just confusing when people mix actions with talking.

Jeysie: I'm serious. Be a jackass IC if you must, but don't be one OOC.

cardician: It all being the same color, it would help distinguish it if people seperated it.

Jeysie: I'd assume that people are talking unless they say they're thinking to themselves.

cardician: OK, sorry.

Jeysie: Sometimes it looks better to combine dialogue with an action.

cardician: OK.

Nemesis: It's a hell of a lot easier.


Karmillo: Dammit I can only be so awesom while unconsciouse... when will we be going to the quater master?

cardician: But you are really awesome. Are you sure you want to wake up? You might lose some awesomeness.

Karmillo: Nah, my awesomeness multiplys when im awake.


Jeysie: MH and Lunchie: If you guys want to IC action reading your notes, feel free and I'll PM you the info.

Jeysie: BTW, when I PM you guys stuff, that doesn't mean you necessarily have to keep it secret. It just means I'm giving you the chance to filter that info into IC stuff as you like. Of course, you *can* keep it secret, if you so desire.

MH: OK.

Jeysie: OK, lemme PM those notes.

MH: Aww, seriously (regarding pm)???

Jeysie: Seriously, that's Karmillo's assignment.

Karmillo: ...

MH: Oh, I thought that was my assignment, oopps.

Karmillo: Agh this is sounding worse by the second.

Jeysie: No, you're just holding on to the note until Karmillo's awake to read it.

MH: OK, makes sense.

cardician: I think you have to try to assassinate the elves karm.

Out2Lunch: You wish.


Karmillo: If that was it then I doubt "aww, seriously???" would be his answer. It going to be something stupid shamefull and degrading.

cardician: Well he's one getting assassinated so it makes sense.

MH: Hmm... don't you think I would be better suited for Karm's task?

Nemesis: Ask our kindly DM that. She's given every char the tasks she thinsk are suitable.

Jeysie: Perhaps, MH, but let us say that... there's an ulterior motive to the assignments that the Headmaster gave Redhill and Karmillo.

cardician: Ulterior motive? No.

Jeysie: Yes.

Karmillo: Ooooh Red theres a conspiracy against us.

cardician: Doesn't it figure! Always out to get the half breeds and dwarves.

Jeysie: I'll tell you what that ulterior motive is after Karm gets to read his assigment... provided you don't guess what it might be first.

Karmillo: Gee I dont know... prevent myself from blowing everyone up?


Jeysie: We've almost RPed everyone to carrying Karmillo down to outside the Quartermaster's shop to wait until the other party is finished.

BLusk: Ready for me, then?

Jeysie: Just about.

cardician: Yeah, i'll get us into the quartermaster, to heck with that other team. They're not real after all!

Jeysie: Sure, but BLusk's got some funny stuff up his sleeve, so be patient and let him work.

Karmillo: *Gasp* BLusks not real?

cardician: Nah, he's just really good AI.


cardician: Redhill heads out of the hall and off to the Quartermaster.

Jeysie: (as Headmaster) "All right, then. I had to send the other Party on ahead of you, so you'll need to wait for a bit of time until they're finished. Please proceed with your comatose friend down to outside the Quartermaster's shop, then. And good luck to all of you."

Nemesis: Ayaka smiels thinly as she carries Kamillo."Thank you sir. We might just need that luck."

Out2Lunch: (as Khila'eru) "Shall we go?"

cardician: Redhill looks behind him. "Whats the hold up? You elves too weak to carry that fella?"

Out2Lunch: Khila'eru moves toward the door with Ayaka. "Would anyone mind opening the door for us? our hand are a bit full."

Nemesis: Ayaka sighs a little, shifting a little, and waitign for the door to be opened.

cardician: I just assumed the door was open since i already walked out.

Karmillo: I used my dreaming abilities to shut it again!

cardician: Karm, you seeing images of snow white in your unconsciou dreams thanks to my whistling?

Karmillo: No I seen a thousand angy dwarves swarm the room swinging punched at your crotch... dont ask why.


BLusk: As the party approaches the Quartermaster's shop, shouting is heard. Clearly someone is extremely angry. *BAM* The door blasts open as the gnome sails out the door, landing roughly outside.

BLusk: Moments later, the halfling follows, in a much larger arc.

cardician: We're seeing short people tossed... this could mean war.


Jeysie: BTW, MH, you're not actually in the shop yet.

MH: Oh?

Jeysie: No, you're outside... watching the aftermath of the other Party's exploits.

MH: Sorry, i assumed i enterd with everyone else.

cardician: We haven't entered, we're all outside watching fellow short people be tossed around.

cardician: Lousy tall humans.


Karmillo: Am I awake yet?

Jeysie: I'm assuming that Ayaka and Khila are still carrying Karmillo?

Jeysie: And, not yet, Karm.

Karmillo: No they lowered me against a wall.

cardician: I think ayaka is dragging him as khila dropped one half.

Out2Lunch: No, we left him outside.

Nemesis: No I set him by the wall outside.

Jeysie: Er, OK.

cardician: He's unconscious and not going anywhere.

Out2Lunch: You said he was awkward.

cardician: Plus his awesomeness can watch our backs.

Karmillo: My awesomeness watches out for no man!

Karmillo: Or... umm woman.

cardician: How about elves and dwarves?

Karmillo: Not sure, ill have to ask it once I awake.


Jeysie: BTW, don't forget the ration card, Lunchie. We can't let Karm sleep forever.

Karmillo: Oh does someone have to revive me?

Jeysie: That's the general plan.

Karmillo: So they Need to get a Phoenix Down or something?

cardician: Dude this isn't final fantasy. We're just gonna dunk you're head in the horse trough.

MH: Or maybe just slap him a few times.

Karmillo: You need a ration card for that?


Karmillo: Erm your ignoring the dwarf red?

cardician: DOH!

Karmillo: "Redhill ignores the dwarf and turns back to the quartermaster."

cardician: Dwarves, elves, they're all the same.

cardician: I was close.

Nemesis: *smacks Redhill around the head with a Punica: Redfruits Bottle* *THWACK* *SHATTER* *CRASH*

Nemesis: They are not the same. Elves have honour.


Nemesis: [cardician]'s ignoring himself.

Karmillo: Dont you stop existing or something when you ignore yourself?

cardician: Uh oh... *poof*


Karmillo: So whos going to heal me?

Jeysie: Whoever feels like dosing you with a potion or two.


cardician: You guys see van helsing? Can i get one of those auto crossbows?

cardician: So Jeysie, is that a no on the auto-crossbow?

Jeysie: Auto-crossbows are a bit out of the means of newbies, yes.


Jeysie: BTW, did Huz ever contact you? I chatted with him a bit back.

Nemesis: Oh gods, no. Not for a while.

Jeysie: Bother.

Nemesis: He's a sweetie though sin't he? *blush*

Jeysie: He is.

Nemesis: And he's tall too. About I'd say 5.8 maybe. And i'm only liek 5 foot irl.

Jeysie: I'm 5'7"...

Nemesis: That's HUGE. Pink is about that too. *is a tiny midget*

Jeysie: *towers over the short people and teases gently*

Out2Lunch: It's not that tall.

Nemesis: *mews*

Jeysie: My mom's 5'2".

Nemesis: It's 7 INCHES.

Out2Lunch: I know, I'm 5' 6" and I've never been thought of as tall.

Nemesis: It's taller than me. Anyone that's taller than me is tall to me. LOL

Jeysie: I'd say that where I am, 5'5" is about average for a lady, and 5'10" for a fella.

Ayaka: *shifts a little, chewing on ehr lip now*

Jeysie: We grow like weeds here, it's scary.

MH: *towers embarrassingly over the small people*

Nemesis: *mews and cowers*


Karmillo: Could someone throw one of those [healing] potions in my general direction?

Nemesis: Khila is.

Karmillo: We could like roll and see if it hits me or not.

Jeysie: Uh, I think we should *pour* them down Karmillo's throat, maybe.


Jeysie: BTW, folks, a quick note on the weapons:

Jeysie: All of your weapons are safety-guarded. They will do Non-Lethal damage all the time.

Jeysie: The guards can be removed as a full-round action during combat, or within a minute outside of combat.

Jeysie: However, if you do Lethal damage to the Test actors pretending to be the enemies, the city and Academy are going to be really cranky with you.

Karmillo: Wait... what about my spells? I cant exactly set my burning hands to Friendly Fire.

Jeysie: Spells will be assumed to do non-lethal damage against Test actors. I'll think up some suitable IC reason.

BLusk: Magically warded, Jeysie. They have protection spells cast on them before the test.


BLusk: Dan Killjoy pulls out a worn, but functional light crossbow and 10 bolts, and hands it over. "Now take this backpack, get a bedroll and 5 days rations."

cardician: Oooh, is that an auto-crossbow?

Jeysie: No, she doesn't get one either.

Nemesis: Damn. So I can't go roudn autoshootign dwarves?

Jeysie: Repeating Heavy Crossbows cost 400GP. You're not getting one as newbies unless you sign over both your gonads, and maybe a limb.

Jeysie: Repeating Light Crossbows cost 250GP. That's maybe just one gonad.


Karmillo: Can you rez me now?

Jeysie: Karmillo needs some potion dosing.

Karmillo: *begins to practice the "twidling thumbs" method of destroying the world*


BLusk: (as Dan Killjoy) "Now, who's left?"

cardician: (as Redhill) "I think thats it, sir."

Nemesis: Ayaka steps forwards. "I am," she speaks lowly now, showign her ID.

Nemesis: *smacks Redhill around the head with a Punica: Redfruits Bottle* *THWACK* *SHATTER* *CRASH* *slaps Redhill around a bit with a large trout*

Nemesis: I feel better now.

cardician: Oh no! Beaten by a fish!

Nemesis: Would you rather beign smashed round the head again?

cardician: Well the redfruit is tasty.

Nemesis: *waves a whole PUnica redfruit glass bottle*

Nemesis: True. It's the best German drink that's not alcohol that I know.


Karmillo: Do I have to roll for the potion?

Jeysie: Yes, hang on.

Jeysie: OK, Karm, roll 1d8+1.

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d8: 6 <Total: 6(+1) = 7>

Karmillo: Im still dead right?

Jeysie: OK, step one, you've healed 7 of your non-lethal damage. You're down to 9 non-lethal and you're still unconscious for the moment.

Karmillo: *groans*

Jeysie: Step two, Lunchie, feed him a second potion.

MH: For god's sake, somebody cure him so i can give him his instructions.


Jeysie: Karmillo, roll me another 1d8+1.

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d8: 7 <Total: 7(+1) = 8>

Jeysie: OK, you now have 1 non-lethal damage. Congratulations, you're conscious.


Karmillo: Karmillo rummages through his pockets and pulls out His ID, which has doodles over the painting of himself making him look more Evil Overlordish.

Jeysie: Uh, I told Karmillo that all the IDs have little hand-painted portraits of yourselves.

Jeysie: Because if they don't I know one of you will try to steal someone else's ID and make my life miserable.


Nemesis: Oh god red? Clonk that half elf please? He's a disgrace.

Jeysie: No clonking.

Nemesis: Aww.

Jeysie: Not tonight anyway.

Nemesis: No smacking?

Nemesis: LOL

Nemesis: OK.


Jeysie: Well, I set it up that Redhill needs to "protect" everyone's well-being and honor... and Karmillo needs to protect Redhill. So if they beat up on each other, physically or verbally, then they'll be in deep doo-doo.

Jeysie: So if you're going to injure and insult each other, yon Dwarf and Half-Elf, I suggest you at least be very sneaky about it.

Karmillo: Oh I will.

Jeysie: i.e. I would recommend not leaving any evidence or witnesses.


Karmillo: Karmillo slips the dagger into one of his pockets and grabs the scythe.

cardician: Dude, you just slipped a dagger into your pocket. I think you might have relieved yourself of some personal body parts...

Jeysie: The dagger has a safety guard, remember?


Out2Lunch: Um, a little off topic, but did I get any rations? I know I don't need a bed but food is nice...

Jeysie: "Dan Killjoy pulls out a worn, but functional light crossbow and 10 bolts, and hands it over. 'Now take this backpack, get a bedroll and 5 days rations.'"

Out2Lunch: Thanks. Um, but if elves don't sleep why do I have a bed?

Jeysie: Elves technically sit in trance for 4 hours a day. Kind of like deep meditation, sorta.

Jeysie: So, might as well have a comfy bedroll to sit on.


Jeysie: And, that's gonna be a wrap folks, we'll deal with you arriving at the Transportation Department tomorrow. So wrap up your last little bits.

cardician: Awww but its only 9:40. I can stay up for at least another 5 hours.

Jeysie: It's 9:40 for *you*, Cardie.

Nemesis: For we brits it isn't that early.

cardician: Damn brits.

cardician: Errr... i mean...

Nemesis: *smacks Redhill around the head with a Punica: Redfruits Bottle* *THWACK* *SHATTER* *CRASH*

Jeysie: It's more like nasty early for the UK folks.

Nemesis: Yeah. Very nasty early.

MH: 2.30 am here!!!

cardician: Well thats what you get for living across the pond. Move here.

MH: No, you move here!

cardician: Yeah, i'd like to.

Nemesis: I have Pink and Huz.

MH: And me...

Nemesis: This side of the pond is better...

cardician: Yeah... nothing better than a women with an accent... Yummy.

Nemesis: *blushes*


Jeysie: Our Party heads out of the Quartermaster's shop, much to his extreme relief, no doubt, and heads down to the Transportation Department to hopefully finish their tests before they manage to kill each other.

BLusk: "Have fun storming the castle!" "Think it'll work?" "It would take a miracle..."

Jeysie: I hear that.

cardician: LOL, geez, so much doubt.

Nemesis: We'll show you Brain.

cardician: Yeah brain. You and PINKY!

cardician: What're you doing tonight anyway brain?

BLusk: "It's Pinky and the Brain... It's Pinky and the Brain!"


Jeysie: BTW, Cardie, although I shudder to find out what he intends, Karmillo is tapping you on the shoulder.

Karmillo: Hey can I roll or something to see if tapping him on the shoulder can knock him over or something?

cardician: Oh please. You can't knock me over. You're a weak sorcerer. I mean i knocked you out with a flick.

Jeysie: What, you want to knock over a Dwarf, who get racial bonuses to avoid getting knocked over because they're sturdy, with a tap on the shoulder?

Karmillo: Well... yeah.

Jeysie: When you are, say, a Giant, then maybe you stand a chance in Baator of knocking over a Dwarf with a shoulder tap.

Karmillo: Hey you never know I might get that luck roll.

Jeysie: Not unless you roll a critical miss.

Karmillo: I could do. What is his resistance anyway?

Jeysie: No, Karmillo, sheesh.

Karmillo: Just wondering, what is his resistance?

Jeysie: I guess it would be a Bull Rush. So you'd have to roll 1d20+STR, and he'd get to roll 1d20+STR+4.

Karmillo: See, I could do it!

Jeysie: 1d20+3 vs. 1d20+7

Karmillo: Yeah. Its possible, hes got better odds but its possible.

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d20: 12 <Total: 12(+3) = 15>

BLusk: And, that takes more than a tap on the shoulder.

Jeysie: It's a damn shoulder tap. You couldn't knock *me* over with a shoulder tap.

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d20: 20 <Total: 20(+7) = 27>

Karmillo: ...20!?

cardician: Yep, my natural 20s.

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d20: 3 <Total: 3(+7) = 10>

GameServ: Karmillo rolled 1d20: 5 <Total: 5(+3) = 8>

Karmillo: Dammit.


BLusk: OK, comments on the Quartermaster?

cardician: Well done.

Out2Lunch: Great.

MH: What a hardass!

cardician: When i get more powerful, i'm gonna come back and kill him for tossing around my fellow small people.

cardician: Err... i mean...

BLusk: Hee hee! I never mentioned the greatsword he carries, did I? It's not just decorative.

cardician: Yeah, you left that part out.

BLusk: It wasn't material.

cardician: I'll get Ayaka to lift it off of you.

Karmillo: He wrecked my image with that brown robe.

MH: When I get to lvl10 I'm tempted to come back and beat his brains out for being such a smug bastard!

cardician: Then i'll thrash you with the protected war-axe.

BLusk: OK, Jeysie, clearly ol' Dan Killjoy is going to need some XP and levelling to keep the young snots off his back.


Jeysie: For getting your assignment, dragging the Sorceror through the hall, and getting your equipment, you all get 125XP. Technically all Karmillo did was sleep, but he's already behind as it is.


Karmillo: I got confused when I was told I was brain damaged and something about red and embarising... what were you talking about anyway red?

cardician: Taking a scythe. You're gonna look silly. My dwarf will be laughing at you and that'll make it hard for him to keep you alive.

Karmillo: Red Im not exactly giong to be fighting with it, Im a spell caster.

cardician: Plus, whenever i think of brain damage, i hear cosby saying it in one of his standup routines and it cracks me up.


Jeysie: Dammit, Karmillo left before I got to comment on the nose flick thing.

Jeysie: Was going to point out that he was held by a spell, and the nose of a Half-Elf is not the sturdiest thing on the planet.


BLusk: So, Jeysie... regretting taking on the DM job?

Jeysie: I regretted taking on the GM job before I did it.


Jeysie: TBH, being DM wouldn't be so bad if Karmillo wasn't driving me nuts.

MH: What's the prob with Karm?

Jeysie: You have to ask?

MH: Well, not really, but i thought it was polite.

Jeysie: Ah.


MH: Maybe its because he's a brit?

Jeysie: Yes, the trees and rocks have AC, so it'll take work to toast them. No, Karmillo, you can't knock a Dwarf over with a mere shoulder tap. For pity's sake.

Jeysie: You're a Brit.

MH *laughs* I know but i'm not in the same league as KARM.