Chaotic Crew:Campaign/Chapter 13
"As we join our heroes, we find them...famished! Rub-a-dub-dub, time for some grub."
Reginar: "I'm up for eating anywhere that has food," Reginar says cheerfully.
Wolfgang: "Food...?" Wolfgang looks somewhat surprised. "I guess they have gone to eat... Might as well get something."
Eleihoff: "Food sounds very good right now. Isn't that right, Edgar?" Eleihoff turns to his little raven familiar.
Wolfgang: "Let's step out and find something edible, then."
Wolfgang heads to the front door and looks outside for an eating establishment.
Reginar follows da laddie.
Eleihoff wanders out of the church, looking around for food.
Wolfgang: "It's either fight the clerics for their food, or go and have a quick meal at the local MacDougals Restaurant or somesuch."
The Party steps outside, looking for sustenance. Most of the buildings are dark, their occupants already closing up for the night. The bar is still open, however; the lights are on, and piano music wafts through the air from its direction.
Wolfgang: "Looks like the bar is it. I dunno... after that Spider Vomit or whatever it was that Gideon drank, I'm not sure I want to go there."
Reginar: "We just spent the past few days running from villagers in red shirts, a bunch of zombies, psychotic modrons, and a mailer daemon from Hell. ...what can a bit of bar food do to us?"
Wolfgang: "It'll probably kill us of some rare and little known disease." He grins, then heads to the bar anyway.
Credance: "Hey, those are your options. But if you ask me the grub here's a bit more.... succulent :}
Reginar shrugs slightly, chuckles, and heads to the bar.
Wolfgang: The bar is just as immaculate as it was the last time you were here. The same bartender is at the ready, idly polishing the bar with a polishing cloth. Off in the corner, a gnome in a white tuxedo is playing lounge music on a piano; he seems to be enjoying himself.
The bar is sparsely populated; only a few random people are seated at the tables, eating and/or drinking by themselves.
Wolfgang waves at the bartender. "My good man, would you rustle up some menus for us, please?" He points at a nearby booth, where he intends to sit.
"Ah. Very good, sir." He snaps his fingers...immediately, an elf in a waiter's outfit appears from nearby, seemingly materializing from nowhere.
He hands everyone a menu. "Please, feel free to seat yourselves, I'll be right with you."
Wolfgang sits down at the booth and stretches out his feet, perusing the menu idly.
Reginar sits at the booth and pulls out his Bag. "All right, Grandpa, let's see what there is to eat, hmm?" He picks up and reads the menu.
Eleihoff stares at the piano-playing gnome for a few moments, rubbing his chin. Then he wanders over to his comrades. "Is there such a thing as a mobile piano?"
Reginar: "It's possible. I bet you could make a magical keyboard to hang around your neck." Reginar looks thoughtful.
The booth is large and spacious; the seats, comfortable, if rather sticky. Up in a corner overhead, a screen similar to the one in the Cityville bed-and-breakfast is displaying a series of moving images in a background-entertainment-esque manner; there seems to be a news report on at the moment.
Credance walks over to the musician and leans over his piano to speak to him.
Wolfgang: "I think I'll have the garlic-smothered steak cutlets in a basil-mushroom cream sauce."
Wolfgang: "Or, perhaps, the batter-fried chicken with onion rings and coleslaw."
"Excellent choice, sir." The waiter has seemingly materialized from nowhere just out of sight.
"And what about the rest of you?"
Wolfgang: "Wait, what? Where'd you come from? And what did I just order?"
Credance: "Hey, Cutie," she kisses the gnome on the cheek.
The waiter sighs, then scribbles out something on his notepad. "Please, sir, let me know when you've made your choice."
Credance: "Liking the gig?"
Reginar: "I think I'll have the 42 Meats Surprise Platter with honey barbecue sauce, and a large tankard of ale."
The gnome grins. "Heya, Cre!" He spins around on his piano stool. "Whee! So, you want something?"
Wolfgang: "I've decided... the chicken-fried steak with mashed dwarf potatoes and gnomish gravy."
Reginar: The elf nods. "Will that be with or without the surprise, sir?"
Wolfgang: "Exactly-as-excellent a choice, sir."
Reginar: "With the Surprise. I'm feeling adventurous."
Wolfgang: "Oh, and water. I need my wits about me."
Reginar: "Very well." *scribble scribble*
Eleihoff: "Hmmmmmmm." Eleihoff goes as he stares directly at the menu, apparently unaware that he did not open it yet.
Wolfgang reaches over and opens Eleihoff's menu for him. Quietly.
Credance: "You know it. I'm feeling a little mischievous tonight and I was wondering if you could help me "entertain" my friends over there."
Eleihoff: "I'll have the Barbecue chicken with the spicy sauce and a salad on the side."
Credance: The gnome grins mischievously. "What'cha got in mind?"
The elf continues to scribble. "Very good, sir. And, what about your friend over there?"
Eleihoff: "My raven, Edgar? He's still thinking."
Wolfgang: "Hey, Credance! Gonna order?" Wolfgang looks over at her.
Credance leans in conspiratorially, "Well.... *whisper*whisper*whisper*."
Eleihoff tilts his head towards his Raven as it does...hardly anything.
The waiter stares at Eleihoff in disbelief. He leans over, whispering to Wolfgang. "...is he serious?"
Eleihoff: "Edgar will just have a shrimp cocktail."
Credance: The gnome grins. "Yes, ma'am!" He cracks his knuckles...
The waiter blinks. "...very good, sir." He rolls his eyes, and mutters under his breath. "I don't get paid enough for this..."
The waiter takes the orders and glides away towards the kitchens. Meanwhile, the piano gnome starts to play a different tune on the piano...more fast-paced, more energetic, almost chaotic in nature.
Wolfgang: "...I don't know. I've given up on figuring these people out."
Credance points at some of the lanterns illuminating the bar as she mutters the words, "nin calma."
As Credance mumbles, several of the lanterns in the bar suddenly wink out...the ambient light in the bar drops noticeably.
Credance: "Salka Merende!
Multicolored points of light wink into existence near the ceiling of the bar; they flash rhythmically, bathing the inside of the bar in a psychedelic rainbow of color.
Reginar: "Hey, Grandpa, look! A disco hall! Been a while since you've been in one of those."
Wolfgang: "Your grandpa was in a disco ball?" Wolfgang is raising his voice slightly.
The piano gnome, in on the joke, matches his music to the lights, playing wildly as the lights turn the interior of the bar into an improvised disco. The bartender, nonplussed, continues to polish the bar is if nothing has happened.
Eleihoff: "Eh, disco?" Eleihoff looks up at the lights. "I don't remember seeing those when I came in."
Credance: "You always know what I like, Cutie"
The waiter suddenly emerges from the kitchen, carrying numerous plates. His eyes widen in disbelief. "...I do NOT get paid enough for this."
He hurriedly places the plates of food in front of everyone. "Here you go, let me know if there are any problems, I'll be back shortly, kthanxbye!" Unable to stand the chaotic display any longer, he dashes back into the kitchen.
Credance grins and pulls a few acrobatic twisty dance moves on her way to the table.
Wolfgang switches plates with Reginar, since the waiter reversed them.
Reginar bops to the music while partaking of his meat platter and ale. He occasionally offers a piece of meat and sip of ale to the Bag.
Wolfgang digs into his dinner, silently pondering the value of ordering a side of headache medicine.
Credance: "Oh, I'll have the "Special", Extra spicy, and a pint of Laure.
Reginar: The food and drink disappears into the bag. Surely Grandpa is happy. Just, don't let him drive until the ale passes through his system.
Eleihoff eventually stops looking up, and almost jumps in surprise at the meal before him.
The elf waiter once again manages to appear from nowhere...he speaks loudly to be heard over the din. "Very well, miss." *zip!*
Eleihoff almost leaps at his meal, but then remembers to pick up the proper utensils. Then he digs in.
Eleihoff: "Caw," Edgar says, then hops off of Eleihoff's shoulder and picks at the shrimp on his shrimp cocktail.
Credance fishes through her pouch and proffers an eyeball for Edgar.
Reginar: Halfway through the meal, as you dig your knife into a particularly plump piece of meat, the wad of cooked flesh suddenly explodes like a firecracker; bits of charred meat fly everywhere, as strips of confetti rain down on your plate.
Credance tosses her arms in the air! "WHOOO!"
The waiter returns, carrying Credance's plate of food, which he sets in front of her. He then notices Reginar. "And, how is the surprise tonight, sir?"
Credance: "I love the Surprise."
Eleihoff: Edgar eyes the eyeball for a few moments. "You DID remember to wash that eyeball, did you not?"
Reginar chuckles a bit. "Entertaining."
Wolfgang jumps in startlement, his fork falling from his hand and plinking onto his plate, the last few bites sitting there.
Reginar: "Leaves me with enough room for dessert, after all."
Credance dunks the eyeball in Wolfgang's water to wash it off before again offering it to Edgar.
Reginar works on cleaning up the mess a bit.
Wolfgang finally rises from the table, and manages a smile. "Back in a bit." He heads off in search of a bathroom.
Credance tosses the eye in the air in the hopes that Edgar will grab it and tucks in to her meal, "Mmm, 'sh if gu."
Eleihoff: Edgar eyes Credance, but quickly flutters his wings and shoots into the air to catch the eyeball.
Wolfgang: The waiter points you towards a pair of bathrooms in the back of the bar. The men's room is a small, single-toilet affair, with a sink and paper-towel dispenser as well; not the cleanest you've ever seen, but it sure beats that one truck stop bathroom back in Reno.
Credance: "If it's dessert you want I'd recommend the Fried Griffon's Cream Balls," She takes a long pull on her Elven mead.
Reginar: "What's the special trick ta those?"
Credance: "They come out on fire"
Eleihoff: "On fire, you say?"
Credance: "Edible fire"
Reginar: "Now that sounds interesting."
Credance: "It's kind of warm and sweet and oddly sticky"
Eleihoff: "Fascinating..." Eleihoff rubs his chin, but then wipes it off afterwards because he got sauce on it.
Credance: "And the frozen griffon's cream has this great tang to it."
Reginar: "Well, I think you've sold me, lassie."
Wolfgang makes use of the facilities, sitting longer than is needed and trying to get his stomach under control.
Wolfgang: ...along with his headache.
The waiter appears again. "So, that'll be one order of fried griffon's cream?"
Credance: "And a bottle of Lisse'fion for the table."
Wolfgang: After a while, Wolfgang returns, sitting back down with a slightly less pained smile.
Eleihoff: "Make that two fried griffon's cream." Eleihoff says as he idly pets Edgar.
"Very good." He vanishes again.
Credance pats Wolfgang on the back, "What's ailing you, Wolfy?"
Wolfgang: "I'm fine." He grins again. "Just debating about getting a little air, but I can wait until after dessert."
Reginar: "We should order ya a helpin' of Fried Griffon's Cream Balls as well."
As if on cue, the waiter materializes from the aether at the word "dessert", carrying two trays. Each tray has several mounds of cream arranged on them, with each mound burning lazily.
He (carefully) places the trays on the table. "Here you go, folks. Now..."
He produces a pair of papers. "Would you please sign these waivers?"
Credance: "It is kind of stuffy in this booth..." She cracks a sly grin at Wolfgang. "There's a lot more air out on the dance floor."
Reginar takes a waver and peruses it.
Eleihoff stares at one of the waivers, trying to make out the legalese.
Wolfgang looks at the dessert somewhat dubiously, then rises. "Yes, let's dance, Credance." His mind reels with the thought of a dessert that requires a legal waiver to eat, but he takes Credance by the hand and tugs her that direction.
Reginar: It appears to be a liability waiver, absolving the bar from legal responsibility for any burns or other injuries that might be sustained in the act of eating the dish.
Reginar signs the waver and hands it back.
Eleihoff signs the waiver without a second thought.
The waiter collects the papers. "Thank you, sirs. Enjoy!" He vanishes again.
Credance grins and snags a spoon full of Reg's cream as she gets up.
Reginar: "Edible fire ya say, lassie?"
Credance licks her lips.
Reginar pokes the fire experimentally with his fingertip.
Wolfgang heads out onto the dance floor with a relieved expression on his face.
Eleihoff devours his portion of the dessert, undeterred by the fire.
Credance slides up behind Wolfgang and puts her hands on his hips.
Reginar: Your finger passes right through the fire, touching the warm cream. The flames are apparently magical...they don't seem to burn you at all, yet they're clearly toasting the outside of the cream to a golden brown.
Reginar: "Interesting." Reginar digs into the dessert with gusto, giving a few spoonfuls to Grandpa along the way.
Credance starts by gently guiding Wolfy's hips into a rhythm with her own.
Reginar: You spoon some of the cream into the bag, wisely blowing out the flames first. No sense taking chances...Grandpa's already been cream-ated once.
Eleihoff remembers to set aside a bit of the flaming cream ball for Edgar, who gulps it down after finishing his shrimp cocktail.
Wolfgang dances with Credance, following her lead.
Credance doesn't stop with that tho. As Wolfy begins to relax she begins to step up the pace, building rhythm and tangled acrobatics into some kind of chaotic knot of moving bodies. By the time the song finishes no one is really sure just what happened out on the dance floor, but Wolfgang does have a vague sense of having been slightly defiled, though not in an unpleasant way.
Reginar gives a cheer at the dance floor spectacle while waving his dessert spoon.
Wolfgang: Wolfgang, although uncertain exactly WHAT just happened, seems to have something resembling a smile on his face as he makes his way back to the table. "...Well... I... uh, think I'm ready to go now..."
Reginar: "I think ya already went... somewhere, laddie." Reginar chuckles.
Wolfgang: "...I really don't know where I just went, Reginar..."
Reginar finishes off his last bit of cream balls, stands up, and gives Wolfgang a friendly pat while still chuckling.
Credance sits to catch her breath and sips some of the Elven Sherry.
Reginar: "Waiter? Check please!"
Eleihoff finishes his dessert and puts Edgar back on his shoulder. "Ah, a good meal."
The waiter appears, handing the check to Wolfgang. "Here you are, sir." He then leans in and winks at Credance. "Nice one."
Wolfgang glances at the check and forks over the full amount, including a tip.
Eleihoff leans over towards Wolfgang and the check, trying to get a peek.
Reginar: "Now laddie, how much do we owe ya?"
Wolfgang: "Wolfgang crumples the bill and drops it on the table. "My treat..." He then wanders toward the door, somewhat dazed.
Reginar: "Hmm. I think the poor laddie's in love, Eleihoff."
As the party argues over the check (somewhere in the universe, a bistromath starship powers up), a news report flashes across the overhead screen. "This is Joanna Treehugger, with Channel 6 Nightly News. Our top story tonight..."
Credance giggles in response to the waiter.
"Earlier today, the east of Villageburg was devastated by a series of wildfires, raging out of control through the heavily-wooded area. Local firefighters were hard-pressed to bring the blaze under control; much of the countryside has already been reduced to cinders.
"Representatives of the forestry service have filed reports claiming that the fires were started by what witnesses describe as "a tiny black dragon", whose flaming breath caused the dry woods to rapidly catch fire. So far, the Worldstown Municipal Fire Department is looking into the issue.
"In other news..."
Eleihoff: "Ummmmm...it wasn't me..."
"In the wake of the sudden disappearance of the population of Villageburg, violent fighting has broken out between the United Anarchists' Alliance and the Allied Anarchists' Front, as they wage war for control of the now-deserted town. This is but the latest incident of violence in a long and bloody history between the two factions; each group proclaiming the superiority of their anti-government ideals, and each dedicated to utterly destroying the other. Will this particularly gruesome battle finally bring an end to the fighting, or is this simply one more stop on a never-ending campaign of death? One thing is certain - no one can say for sure.
"Some good news today, as well - local resident Mr. John Anderson has claimed the winning jackpot from the Worldstown "Luck-O-Buck-O" lottery drawing. Mr. Anderson is reported to have won over twenty million gold pieces, the highest lottery winnings ever paid out to any single person in Worldstown history."
Wolfgang snaps his attention to the... uh... news report. "Crap... we're on a mission. Hurry up, people. We need to get this done and get things back to normal...ish."
Eleihoff: "Twenty million gold? Ooooo."
Credance: "Hmm, I'll need to tell the church's "Donation's" Squad about Mr. Anderson's good fortune..."
Wolfgang: "All right, dinner's over..." Wolfgang quickly walks out of the bar, headed for the church.
Reginar follows Wolfgang.
Eleihoff gets up and stretches, then wanders after them.
As the Party approaches the church, the sounds of prayer can he heard. Inside the main hall, the clerics have finishes dinner, and have returned to their evening prayers.
Wolfgang: Towards the back of the room, the head cleric is sitting around, looking bored. When he sees you enter, he motions toward you, then ducks into an arch leading farther into the building.
Wolfgang: With a quick step, Wolfgang enters the church and looks for the one that gave the initial briefing.
Wolfgang quickly follows, motioning for the rest of the group to hurry.
Eleihoff eventually follows, once again gazing around at the interior.
The archway leads down a long hallway, and eventually into a large, high-vaulted room. Various random holy artifacts line the walls, but the centerpiece is a large stone arch, carved with runes, that occupies most of the back wall. The inside of the arch is a solid wall of brick.
The head cleric meets you just inside the door. "I saw you'd returned before, but didn't want to interrupt mass. Do you have the keys?"
Wolfgang halts in front of the cleric. With a smile on his face, he says, "Yes, right here... now, um, how do we use them?" He shows the various keys to the cleric.
Wolfgang: The cleric grins. "Ah, that part is easy. May I?" He takes the items from you.
Wolfgang steps aside to watch.
Putting the items on a nearby pedestal, the cleric removes his ceremonial gloves, and cracks his knuckles. He then picks up the items...and proceeds to juggle them, putting on an impressive display of coordination and dexterity as the items loop through the air in front of him.
Wolfgang: "Wait, this is the EASY way?"
Eleihoff: "Yay!" Eleihoff claps his hands at the show.
He begins to chant. "BOOMshakalakalakalaka BOOMshakalakalakalaka BOOMshakalakalakalaka BOOM!" With the final word, he allows the items to clatter noisily to the floor.
For a moment, nothing happens. Then, the brick wall beyond the arch starts to glow...it twists and distorts, until it warps itself into a glowing blue tunnel, leading off into nothingness.
"Yes, it worked!" The cleric seems almost about to wet himself. "The portal is open! Thank the many various gods!"
Credance: "Ooooo, It's just like on Stargate."
He shakes Wolfgang's hand emphatically. "You've done it! I must go inform the others. Please, be careful..." With that, he disappears down the corridor.
Reginar: "You watch that too, eh, lassie?"
Eleihoff walks a bit closer to the portal, mesmerized.
Wolfgang shakes hands with the cleric, then scrapes his feet on the floor, and steps toward the portal, drawing his weapon as he does so.
Credance: "Reg, does your grampa have a door mat?
Reginar: "Uh. Might as well check,"
Reginar unties the emerald green sweater from around his waist and places it back in the Bag. He waits a moment, then says, "Grandpa, I don't suppose you have something we can wipe our feet on?" and reaches in.
Wolfgang: "Phew! Let's get the stunt double in here to walk into THAT portal..."
Credance: "If not, I'll go get one. It's not wise to cut corners with prophetic rules. I mean the next thing you know you could be attacked by dozens of tiny vicious reflections of yourself.
Reginar: Reaching into the bag, you pull out...an expensive-looking silver shrimp fork.
Wolfgang: "It said 'Wipe Feet'. It didn't say on what."
Credance: "All I"m suggesting is that we wipe them well.
Reginar: "Well, uh." Reginar hands the fork to Credance with a shrug.
Wolfgang: "Well, then... go ahead and grab one, Credance. If you feel it's important, might as well do so."
Credance ignores the fork and jogs down one of the corridors.
Reginar shrugs and sticks the fork in his beard.
Reginar: "Today is a good day to go mad, perhaps."
Wolfgang: "Maybe... we're supposed to pick all the rocks out of our shoes with the fork, Reginar?"
Wolfgang: "Wait, I'm starting to ascribe meanings to the items you pull from that bag! GAH!"
Reginar: "It just means that my Grandpa likes you, Wolfgang. That's a good thing."
Credance returns slightly out of breath holding a doormat.
Credance: You place the specially-prepared All Worlds doormat before the portal. The special slogan is proclaimed proudly across its surface: "WIPE FEET AND MAKE PENETANCE BEFORE ENTERING."
Wolfgang: "...Let's just get this over and done with. I'll go first. If something eats me, don't come in." Wolfgang wipes his feet and enters the portal before anyone can puzzle out the illogic of that statement.
Reginar wipes his feet, offers up a prayer to Moradin, then enters the portal himself.
Wolfgang: Stepping into the portal, you suddenly feel as though your body is being pulled in an infinite number of opposite directions, all at once. You can feel yourself stretching, twisting, being deformed like a piece of space-time taffy as the mystical portal energies yank you into an alternate dimension...
Wolfgang: "Wait, am I dancing with Credance again...?"
The rest of the party follows suit, the portal vacuuming them all up into the cracks between the multiversal sofa cushions we call dimensions. Soon, the powerful sensations of falling are replaced with relative normalcy, as the quartet of adventurers is violently ejected from the other end of the portal...
...and lands hard on a concrete parking lot.
Wolfgang ends up on his butt in a tangle of equipment, weapons and legs. "...I think I was dancing again..."
Reginar: "You said it, laddie. Oof, my back and other fleshy bits."
Credance: "... maybe when we get home, Wolfy."
Eleihoff: "...this isn't where I fell asleep."
Credance stands and dusts herself off before looking around the new dimension.
Reginar picks himself up painfully and looks around.
The Party finds itself standing in a huge parking lot that seems to stretch off into infinity...white lines at regular intervals mark off parking spaces, while lanterns hang from tall posts overhead to light the way. Not too far away, a single, squat building draws your attention...it looks fairly nondescript, except for a trio of huge metal frame towers situated atop the building's roof.
Wolfgang finally rises and looks around the area. "Where in the blazing fires of hades are we, anyway? And what's with these stripes?"
Thousands of wires lead from the towers up into the pitch-black sky, disappearing into nothingness.
Reginar: "Not sure." Reginar measures one off with footsteps experimentally. "They're not the right size for ponies or carriages."
The building's exterior is blank except for a single metal door, and above it a sign: "THE PRAYER COMPANY".
Wolfgang slowly approaches the door. "...is that because you don't have a prayer of getting anything done?" He shrugs, but says one in his head, anyway.
Wolfgang: "I don't know about the stripes... maybe you're supposed to put your tent between the lines?"
Reginar: "Could be, could be."
Eleihoff: "Hmmmm." Eleihoff steps towards the lines and decides to stand between two of them.
Credance kneels on the hard ground and lifts her hands in prayer, "Oh gods, may your blessings be upon us, keeping us from harm, guiding our steps, and granting us protection from F----ing up too bad."
Wolfgang: "...Gotta agree with that one." Wolfgang finally goes and tries the door.
Wolfgang: The door opens noiselessly...beyond, you can make out a very long corridor, leading off into darkness. The floor is tiled with ivory...lanterns hang along the wall at regular intervals.
Credance follows Wolfgang into the building.
Wolfgang: "Hopefully, this isn't a maze of twisty passages, all alike." He heads down the corridor carefully.
Reginar considers making another prayer, decides that Credance really covered all the bases, and follows the two into the building.
Eleihoff loses interest in the lines and follows after the group.
Wolfgang: Leading the Party down the corridor, you soon emerge into a larger room that seems to be a surreal lobby. The only furniture is a single reception desk, right in the middle of the floor, which otherwise seems to stretch off into the darkness, the walls not even visible.
Behind the desk is a very...strange, character. It looks vaguely human, but you've never seen a human quite so gangly - or so tall. He looks to easily be seven feet high, and almost impossibly thin.
More importantly, he's wearing the most obviously fake disguise you've ever seen - a bright yellow ten-gallon cowboy hat, and a pair of nose glasses think enough to make it impossible to see through them.
His mouth is hidden behind the thick, fake moustache attached to the noseglasses...when he speaks, his voice is heavily accented. His speech is stilted, as though he's unused to the language. "May I helping you?"
Reginar: "I... believe so, yes. We're here to fix the Switchboard."
Wolfgang: "My name is Wolfgang. This is Reginar, Credance and Eleihoff. We were dispatched to help fix the so-called switchboard?"
Credance: "We're in the book."
The being tilts its head quizzically. "Switchboard, switchboard..." A pause. "Ah. Yes, switchboard is fineing. All well, please to departing now."
Wolfgang: "I have the impression that you are trying to give us the brush-off. We need to do a personal inspection of the device before we can leave."
Reginar: "Ya, it's never that easy."
Reginar: "Plus after we came all this way, I want ta see tha thing with my own eyes."
He shakes his head. "No, no, all is goodness, please to exit." He looks jittery.
Credance: "Look, we have a destiny to fulfill here."
Eleihoff: "Hmm...where'd you get those glasses?"
Wolfgang: "Oh, no... It's DEFINITELY no trouble." Wolfgang looks over at Reginar, turning so his back is to the man, and balls up his fist and gestures as though smacking his fist into his other hand. He then tilts his head at the man, and raises an eyebrow.
Credance: "I like you're thinking, but we should probably wait until we get home to do that."
Wolfgang sighs deeply. "...never mind."
Eleihoff: "I don't think now is a good time to knead dough."
Reginar: "Look, my dear... fellow, it's really no trouble." Reginar moves to walk past the oddly-attired lifeform to climb over or go around the desk, whichever is applicable, to head towards whatever's at the back of the room.